37 definitions by beardedfatass

Top Definition
(n) an online user who still knows how to spell and use basic sentence structure
> Hello.
> stfu n00b u sukc ih8u gfy
by BeardedFatass January 09, 2004
(n) 1. the main character in the comic strip of the same name, created by Scott Adams, depicting an empolyee who works in a cubicle for a clueless boss at a large company
2. any real-life office employee who embodies some characteristics of the Dilbert character
3. a loser

See also: Dilbertesque
The young Dilbert tried in vain to sell his boss on the new technology, but his boss told him to shut up and consider himself lucky he even HAS a Coleco.
by BeardedFatass January 09, 2004
(n) an Oakland rapper from the early 1990s named Stanley Kirk Burrell who liked to wear parachute pants while performing his MANY hits:
1. U Can't Touch This (1990, #8)
2. Have You Seen Her (1990, #4)
3. Pray (1990, #2)
4. 2 Legit 2 Quit (1992, #5)
5. Addams Groove (1992, #7)
6. Pumps and a Bump (1994, #26)
I have to take issue with the unfair characterization of M.C. Hammer as a one-hit wonder: he may be bankrupt and washed-up, but give the man credit for his multiple hits! Hasn't he suffered enough, going through life as a black man named Stanley?
by BeardedFatass May 15, 2004
Etymology: Scott Adams, creator of Dilbert
(n) conventional mail in which a letter or package is physically delivered by a postal service, esp. when the object mailed could have been sent electronically via email/e-mail and arrived at the destination instantly
Paranoid about "hackers" spying on him, my boss insists on sending all correspondence via snail mail, which means I can't use my spam filter to ignore him.
by BeardedFatass January 09, 2004
(n) a lame excuse for obese pigs to claim they are on a "diet" while they gorge themselves with excessive amounts of fatty meat, cheese, butter, and lard

(aka Fatkins Diet)
I'm on the Atkins Diet. Yesterday, I ate a 12-egg omelette, 36 sausage links, a brick of Cheddar cheese, 2 jars of peanuts, 4 sticks of butter, a 32-ounce steak wrapped in bacon, a pork roast, and a can of Crisco for dessert. The only reason I gained 135 pounds was because I accidentally inhaled a crouton.
by BeardedFatass May 18, 2004
!!
slightly more shocking than ! but not quite as shocking as !!!
Exclamation points always seem to come in ones and threes!!
by BeardedFatass October 01, 2004
(n) an urgent need to defecate, usually associated with diarrhea, in which the bowels begin to move before the victim has reached the shitter
As Bob raced down the hallway, he clenched his butt-cheeks together as tightly as he could to stave the impending explosion of fecal matter. This was definitely going to be a photo finish.
by BeardedFatass January 06, 2004

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