al-in-chgo's definitions

detumescence

Tumescence in reverse; the process where, after ejaculation, a man's penis shrinks and reverts to "normal" pre-sexual size.

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"I get boners quick but after sex I lose them quick too. My dick goes back to normal size before I can say "detumescence".

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by al-in-chgo March 12, 2010

Your mouth is writing checks your ass can't cash

"Your mouth is writing checks your ass can't cash," is something TV Dr. Phil McGraw's father said to him as a boy when he would voice wild plans or notions. It means that talk is cheap relative to performance, or that promising something and delivering on it are two different things. A phrase similar in meaning is "Money talks, bullshit walks."

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"I'm going to get a job selling fuzzy dice door-to-door. I'll be rich!"

"Boy, your mouth is writing checks your ass can't cash."

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by al-in-chgo March 13, 2010

lip fur

A man's mustache.

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"The model Jeff York has some of the nicest lip fur I've ever seen."

"Yeah, John Stossel's is pretty great, too."

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by al-in-chgo March 13, 2010

tumescence

The process of erection in a man, whereby his penis gets stiffer and larger, and sometimes points away from the body at an angle.

Adjective form: "tumescent."

After sexual outlet, the reverse process is called "detumescence" (see listing).

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"It was a pretty normal tumescence, but it took longer than usual."

"Maybe you've been having too much sex. Or it's just a consequence of getting older."

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by al-in-chgo March 13, 2010

pun

A play on words. Generally a pun takes a word that is quite understandable in context and replaces it with a homonym (same-sounding word) to create an entirely new meaning, or replaces a word with a similar-sounding one to the same effect.

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A pun involving a word with two possible meanings --

Nurse, to young woman about to receive a vaccination:

"You're going to feel a little prick."

Woman: "It wouldn't be the first time."

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A pun that uses a similar-sounding term to the expected one, to humorous effect --

A one-liner: "JFK's private life was so sexy they should have called his administration Cum-A-Lot."

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by al-in-chgo March 13, 2010

shaggy dog story

A long, convoluted anecdote, often told simply to result in a sentence that consists almost entirely of puns.

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One classic shaggy dog story involves a man named Hugh who is out to stop a couple of monks from growing flowers for money:

"Remember Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars."

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by al-in-chgo March 13, 2010

genital jelly

Another way yet to refer to semen, especially the kind that dries quickly to the consistency of rubber cement (mucilage) or jelly.

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Guy cums on partner's stomach: "Oops! Better wipe that up quick before it turns into genital jelly."

by al-in-chgo March 13, 2010