al-in-chgo's definitions

Olympic Gay

The tendency of some American male Olympic hopefuls competing for medals in individual figure-skating to wear campy costumes (even more sequined than the Asian skaters'), or tight, self-designed get-ups in the most fashionable colors, usually showing a broader bodice with no chest hair, but more boob than the more run-of-the-mill glitzy skater's costume.

This tendency is sometimes accompanied by demands of the sort observed at the 2010 Winter Olympics in Vancouver, Canada, if not earlier, for special favors such as switching rooms in the athletes' dorm to bunk with a special friend. On the ice, when they perform well, they look fabulous and the viewer can feel the narcissism coming through the television; when they perform poorly, they look fabulous despite the gaffes and the viewer can nonetheless feel the nacissism coming through the television, often simultaneous with oblique on-air comment by the network's sports journalist referencing their "controversial" pre-rink behavior.

"Jeremy, I can't believe what I just saw! That American kid made such a poor showing. He fell on his ass and didn't even make the top fifteen. But he strutted off the ice, mugging for the cameras, and looking like he was about to burst the leather straps holding his vest together out of sheer pride or sheer gall."

"Chad," there just ain't no gay like USA Olympic Gay."

by al-in-chgo February 19, 2010

jack it up

Briefly and rapidly masturbating a quasi-erect penis (or "semi") after foreplay leading to partner sex. In this usage the goal is not to masturbate to orgasm, but merely to get the penis stiff enough to penetrate vagina or anus under the assumption that the erection will stay sufficient throughout intercourse aka fucking, presumably leading to a successful climax (orgasm).

"I had to jack it up a little before I could go in, but I was afraid she'd think it was kind of gay, or that I didn't love her."

"Naw, man, you do what you gotta do. Go ahead and get it up a little more. If Dorothy has a problem with that, then why doesn't she use HER hand?"

by al-in-chgo February 20, 2010

Opera Boofa

A pun on "Opera Buffa" (an operatic trend in the 18th and 19th centuries toward a more relaxed mode of opera, often containing humor, such as "The Magic Flute"): "Opera Boofa" is a seriocomic, probably unintentional, portrayal of violative behavior or anal insertion of drugs or spirits under less-than-ideal circumstances.

-- "Did you see that guy testify on TV at the Judiciary Committee hearings?"

-- "Yeah -- the first day was pretty steady -- when he showed up again he got so overwrought denying things that it became pure "Opera Boofa."

"Ouch."

by al-in-chgo October 4, 2018

fappal tunnel syndrome

From FAP + carPAL TUNNEL SYNDROME.

Getting a strained wrist from working a computer mouse with one hand (e.g., to download porn), and jacking self off with the other. It's generally the lower of the two wrists that develops the syndrome first.

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"Jed says his right (left) wrist hurts."

"Probably poor ergonomic design at his workstation. He's wanked himself into a case of Fappal Tunnel Syndrome. Someone get a crowbar and pry him off that computer. Sheesh!"

by al-in-chgo March 20, 2011

bogosity

From "BOgus" (fake, false, faux) + "-OSITY" (humorous suffix, compare "Heaviosity" at this site):

1. The quality of something that is manifestly false (or bogus)

2. Something contrived, or patently false, designed to project a pleasing image or message through the media (newspapers, TV news, etc).

3. A polite way to say "bullshit," when the situation calls for something a little milder.

(Speaking of politicians who project a "folksy" manner when they themselves are not of humble beginnings):

"But alas, judgments about who's faking it are left primarily to what we might call (for the imposed lack of a more familiar but less printable term)* the bogosity detectors of the American people."

Meghan Daum, L.A. Times columnist, August 12, 2011 (printed in Chicago Tribune).

* She means "Bullshit."

by al-in-chgo August 16, 2011

basketball player

Sexually speaking, it's a man who "dribbles" before he "shoots." That is, when fully aroused and ready to come, he is generous with driblets of pre-ejaculatory fluid ("pre-cum"), sometimes followed by dribbled semen (the beginning of ejaculation), before the main orgasm kicks in, causing him to spurt semen (he "shoots").

There is nothing wrong with this sequence of events; in fact, it's quite normal.

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"Algernon and I were upstairs last night fooling around and I found out the hard way that he's a basketball player."

"So what was he doing so close to your hoop, anyway?"

.

by al-in-chgo March 6, 2010

Pornality

“PORNALITY” comes from PORN + BANALITY, a misheard or misunderstood (if clichéd) expression that takes on a more graphic or sexualized meaning:

Examples --

HARD-AND-FAST solution becomes “HARDEN-FAST” SOLUTION;

NO-HOLDS-BARRED (wrestling) becomes “NO HOLES BARRED” (stick it anywhere!);

NIP IT IN THE BUD becomes “NIP IT IN THE BUTT";

and, a pornality deliberately scripted for television:

CORNISH GAME HEN became "CORNISH GAY MEN" as mishead by Dick Solomon (John Lithgow) on NBC-TV's "Third Rock from the Sun" (1996-2001).

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"Man, you got a buttload of mail."

"Don't you mean 'boatload'? "Buttload" is a pornality."

"I was gonna say 'shitload'."

"Point well taken."

by al-in-chgo May 13, 2010