al-in-chgo's definitions

get my knob polished

When a male submits his penis for oral sex (fellatio). "Knob" is a slang word or euphemism for head of the penis (glans); "get polished" (polished) implies agitation or rubbing, in this case full sexual excitation of the dick head.

When the male's penis head is swollen or engorged by oral sex, he has had his knob polished. In actuality, though, "get my knob polished" has come to mean "get a blow job" with the hope of orgasm included.

The term is not to be confused with "dip my wick," another penile reference that usually implies penile-vaginal or even penile-anal sex.

A person who does not orally polish the knob but instead leaves it messy with saliva and/or pre-ejaculate is a knob slob.

1. --"I want to get my knob polished soooo bad!"

--"Don't look at me, bro. Find your own head."

2. --"I like to polish his knob 'til it's real shiny and red!" - one of the "two gay guys from Jersey" (Fred Armisen, Bill Haider) on TV show Saturday Night Live.

by al-in-chgo June 16, 2011

tuchus oyfn tish

Pronounced "TOOK-us OY-f'n tish." Many variant spellings. Literally "ass on the table," it's a Yiddish phrase meaning a serious atmosphere for talk or negotiation. Closest US-English equivalents are probably "No BS" or "(Let's get down to) brass tacks." Often used in a tone of exasperation. Generally recommended for use within members of the same sex.

"Elliot, come into the dining room. We need to make travel plans NOW or they won't get done."

"But Uncle Bernie, the game starts in half an hour."

"Plenty of time if you stop fooling around. Cmon: tuchus oyfn tish."

by al-in-chgo December 24, 2013

kibble

(From the meat-like chunks given to pets): Something nearly worthless or valueless.

He doesn't know what he's saying and just talks a lot of kibble.

by al-in-chgo March 28, 2022

horses and bayonets

Barack Obama's flippant reponse to Mitt Romney's complaint during their third televised debate (October 22, 2012) that the U.S. Navy had fewer battleships than at any time since 1917. Obama's remark that the military has fewer "horses and bayonets, too" makes an analogy that measuring battleships (as opposed to aircraft carriers) is an archaic metric of military power, in much the same way that measuring "horses and bayonets" would no longer indicate an army's might. (NB: Marines are still issued bayonets.)

"The Navy has fewer battleships than at any time since 1917."

"The military has fewer horses and bayonets, too. We live in a different world."

by al-in-chgo October 23, 2012

Junk Jealous

A slang way to say "penis envy" by a man for another man's (supposedly) much larger junk.

.
"Joe is humongous downstairs, if you know what I mean."

"Dude, get over it. You're just junk jealous."

.

by al-in-chgo March 12, 2010

emotionally compromised

Feeling mixed emotions, conflicted. Often implies an inability to feel and express primary emotions (love, fear, anger) without dissonant conflicts brought in from earlier issues or experiences.

.

Recent TV ad:

"I just got a text from my BFF Becky. She said she just kissed Johnny. That's a problem, because I like Johnny, and Becky's not even hot. Now I'm emotionally compromised (smashes pink SUV into completely innocent person's car in mall parking lot)."

.

by al-in-chgo August 23, 2010

Amageddon

A fusion of AMAzon + armaGEDDON; specifically, October 13, 2017, the day the giant retailer shut down all its customer chat boards.

Becky and I used to chat all the time; but ever since Amageddon I have no way to reach her.

by al-in-chgo August 12, 2018