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al-in-chgo's definitions

husballs

A husband's balls. Owner can be gay or straight, or a husbear's (gay bear husband's) balls.
"I got so mad I wanted to kick him right in the husballs. But then I realized there'd be nothing to do that evening."
by al-in-chgo February 4, 2013
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junk shot

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A photograph of a male nude showing all his exterior genitalia explicitly, full frontal. This is often referred to as "the full Monty", but that term's chief reference is to male-stripper performances, while "junk shot" refers specifically to photographs or videos.

"Junk" has been slang for "penis and testicles" for a number of years, and "shot" in this sense refers to photography.
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"You know that famous nude magazine for straight women and gay men? Levi Johnston disappointed me. He was the main article, but no junk shot of any kind. The centerfold had him showing his bottom."

"Bummer. Pun very much intended."

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by al-in-chgo March 12, 2010
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crumb-bum

A term of utter contempt for a worthless, meretricious person, a no-account, with the implication that s/he is of low moral character.

A "bum" has long been an Americanism for a tramp, vagabond or homeless person (and lacking in the "backside" meaning as in the U.K.). The "crumb" may come from the irritating or useless character of bread crumbs or toaster crumbs, but it is possible (despite the spelling) that the first syllable derives from "crummy" as in worthless, detestable. The internal rhyme solidifies the expression.
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"I have no use for my daughter's ex-husband. Ever since the divorce he drifts from job to job and is always behind on child-support payments. He doesn't even send his child a birthday card! As far as I'm concerned, he's a complete crumb-bum."

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by al-in-chgo August 18, 2010
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aiieee!

Pronounced roughly "Ah-YEEEEEE!," this highly useful word not only lets you scream in Italian, but in most other major Romance languages and, because of its onomatopoetic (sound-into-printed word) quality, is pretty well understood around the world.

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Roman Dentist: "This might hurt just a li--"

Roman Patient: "Aiieee!"
by al-in-chgo May 18, 2010
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tuchus oyfn tish

Pronounced "TOOK-us OY-f'n tish." Many variant spellings. Literally "ass on the table," it's a Yiddish phrase meaning a serious atmosphere for talk or negotiation. Closest US-English equivalents are probably "No BS" or "(Let's get down to) brass tacks." Often used in a tone of exasperation. Generally recommended for use within members of the same sex.
"Elliot, come into the dining room. We need to make travel plans NOW or they won't get done."

"But Uncle Bernie, the game starts in half an hour."

"Plenty of time if you stop fooling around. Cmon: tuchus oyfn tish."
by al-in-chgo December 24, 2013
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get my knob polished

When a male submits his penis for oral sex (fellatio). "Knob" is a slang word or euphemism for head of the penis (glans); "get polished" (polished) implies agitation or rubbing, in this case full sexual excitation of the dick head.

When the male's penis head is swollen or engorged by oral sex, he has had his knob polished. In actuality, though, "get my knob polished" has come to mean "get a blow job" with the hope of orgasm included.

The term is not to be confused with "dip my wick," another penile reference that usually implies penile-vaginal or even penile-anal sex.

A person who does not orally polish the knob but instead leaves it messy with saliva and/or pre-ejaculate is a knob slob.
1. --"I want to get my knob polished soooo bad!"

--"Don't look at me, bro. Find your own head."

2. --"I like to polish his knob 'til it's real shiny and red!" - one of the "two gay guys from Jersey" (Fred Armisen, Bill Haider) on TV show Saturday Night Live.
by al-in-chgo June 16, 2011
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jagoff

"Jagoff" (sometimes "jag-off") seems to have originated in Pittsburgh but is also recognized in the Midwest as slang for an inept, feckless, contemptible, or generally worthless person, a loser, a "schlemiel."

The term is almost certainly derived from the verb "jack off" (through noun "jack-off") as in "masturbate," but somewhat like the British use of "wanker," it is usually not a direct comment on self-pleasuring, but more of a general term of contempt or deliberate abuse. Like "wanker," "jagoff" is somewhat vulgar and not to be used lightly, and avoided in cultivated speech, but is recognized by all in the regions in which it has currency.

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The book KILLER CLOWN relates that John Wayne Gacy became especially flustered or angry when called a "jagoff." So the police deliberately used that term to throw him off-balance during interrogation.

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by al-in-chgo August 18, 2010
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