7 definitions by Witty Mommy
The phenomenon that occurs when an individual watches too much Fox News. Said individual becomes grumpy, paranoid, fearful, and only speaks in nonsensical sound bites. Can be contagious.
"What's wrong with Dad?"
"He's been watching Bill O'Reilly for days so the Fox News Dementia has set in."
"He's been watching Bill O'Reilly for days so the Fox News Dementia has set in."
by Witty Mommy April 1, 2015
The weight a person reports on his or her driver's license which is anywhere between 5 and 20 lbs. less than the person's actual weight.
by Witty Mommy March 31, 2015
To offer prayer as a concrete solution to a problem. To, literally, run the issue "up the ladder" and wait for God to figure it out, thereby relieving you of taking any real action.
I asked the director off my daughter's school if we could switch teachers. She smiled and told me she would pray about it. She totally pray punted the issue.
by Witty Mommy September 4, 2014
A list of people with whom you work and whom you would also like to murder. But you never would because you're not a murderer so it's an "office hit list" instead of just a regular hit list.
By the end of the week I had so many people on my office hit list that the entire company would be dead if I were actually a murderer. Good thing I'm not.
by Witty Mommy March 31, 2015
The persona that emerges when a closet smoker is jonesing for a cigarette but must wait for a smoking opportunity. In the meanwhile, he is a total dick to everyone.
"Why did Dad spike those hedge clippers into the ground and nearly sever his foot?"
"He badly needs a smoke but won't admit it. He's being a total Nic Fit DICK!"
"He badly needs a smoke but won't admit it. He's being a total Nic Fit DICK!"
by Witty Mommy April 1, 2015
by Witty Mommy January 28, 2015
This pew squatter refuses to scoot down so we'll have to squeeze by him with our butts in his face. Stubborn A-hole.
by Witty Mommy March 31, 2015