7 definitions by Valhalla MMA
A Pussy-Trance happens when life is unexpectedly and sometimes terribly disrupted and/or turned upside-down, because you've become infatuated with a "She-Devil." Everything becomes secondary to this woman. She has literally become the center of your universe. Your friends and family can see it, but you are totally blinded to it, and completely hypnotized by her. This often happens to unattractive males, or guys who have the confidence of an old dog, that knows its moments away from being euthanized.
"Those Bouncers weren't paying attention, they' were all stuck in a "Pussy-Trance." He crashed his car because that jiggling, jogger, in yoga pants. put him in a "Pussy-Trance." "No dude, I'm staying home tonight. I really don't feel like getting sucked into a Pussy-Trance and spending all my money again this weekend!" Many a man has fallen victim to girls, using the magic power of the "pussy-trance," to drain their wallets and go home with someone else.
by Valhalla MMA April 25, 2019
Throughout history mankind has been plagued by demons of the night. Also known as "sleep paralysis," aka the inability to move or speak while falling asleep or upon awakening. Sleep paralysis is often perceived as a demonic visitation by one of three demons of lust. Incubus (male version), Succubus (female version) and the lesser known, yet equally powerful "Hecubus" (Homosexual version).
by Valhalla MMA August 19, 2016
A "Rumbleweed" is what martial artists, particularly Brazilian Jiu-jitsu practitioners will recognize as a random hairball that goes rolling-by, like a tumbleweed, during training. The "Rumbleweed," is the accumulation of everyone's hair, from grappling "rumbling." And, somehow, it always ends-up in a ball, rolling around the mats.
"I don't think Professor swept the mats. That's the third "Rumbleweed," I've seen today!" "Hey, there goes a "Rumbleweed!"
by Valhalla MMA May 3, 2019
A "Wood-Tic" is defined as a low-value, white-trash American. It's natural habitat is rural areas of the northern United States. Particularly Michigan, Wisconsin, and Minnesota.
The "Wood-Tic" shares many characteristics with its southern cousins, the Hillbilly and the Redneck. All are typically perceived to be crass, uneducated, unsophisticated, racist, and often dirty (especially the kids).
They enjoy backwoods campfires, belly-flop competitions, mudpits, backroading, crash-up-derby, cat fishing, polar ice challenges and watching "Cage Fights."
The "Wood-Tic" shares many characteristics with its southern cousins, the Hillbilly and the Redneck. All are typically perceived to be crass, uneducated, unsophisticated, racist, and often dirty (especially the kids).
They enjoy backwoods campfires, belly-flop competitions, mudpits, backroading, crash-up-derby, cat fishing, polar ice challenges and watching "Cage Fights."
"Drunk Wood-Tics in the cheap seats, stomped their feet and hooted at the Crash-up-Derby last night."
"How come all them girls is toothless, fat, and surrounded by filthy, little kids? Oh, those are Wood-Tic wives!"
"The Wood-Tics are really good at catching the greased pigs at the county fair"
"My cousin Josh is the Wood-Tic cage-fighten champion. Three years in a row now... His signature move is the patented "Wood-Tic guillotine!"
"How come all them girls is toothless, fat, and surrounded by filthy, little kids? Oh, those are Wood-Tic wives!"
"The Wood-Tics are really good at catching the greased pigs at the county fair"
"My cousin Josh is the Wood-Tic cage-fighten champion. Three years in a row now... His signature move is the patented "Wood-Tic guillotine!"
by Valhalla MMA May 30, 2019
Yogatory
Yogatory is the eternal place of suffering, inhabited by the tormented souls of sinful men, who have spent way too much of their lives staring, ogling, drooling, and otherwise fantasying about hot-young, women in Yoga pants.
Like the mythological Greek figure, Tantalus, famous for his eternal punishment of standing in a pool of water beneath a fruit tree with low branches, with the fruit ever eluding his grasp, and the water always receding before he can take a drink.
Those who descend into the depths of Yogatory are forever tormented by the elusive and evasive, hot-young-tail, who prowl about, seductively sauntering and gyrating past them whilst wearing Yoga pants. Ohhhhh, the Helllllllllll
Yogatory is the eternal place of suffering, inhabited by the tormented souls of sinful men, who have spent way too much of their lives staring, ogling, drooling, and otherwise fantasying about hot-young, women in Yoga pants.
Like the mythological Greek figure, Tantalus, famous for his eternal punishment of standing in a pool of water beneath a fruit tree with low branches, with the fruit ever eluding his grasp, and the water always receding before he can take a drink.
Those who descend into the depths of Yogatory are forever tormented by the elusive and evasive, hot-young-tail, who prowl about, seductively sauntering and gyrating past them whilst wearing Yoga pants. Ohhhhh, the Helllllllllll
"Hey, Austin... you better stop checking out those girls before you end up in Yogatory." "I can literally see every crevice of her body, John!... Forgive me, Lord... I have sinned! Please don't send me to Yogatory!" "You're going straight to Yogatory, Alex!" "There is a special place in HELL for those of us who suffer this affliction. It's called Yogatory."
by Valhalla MMA April 25, 2019
Popcorn Police are the armed guards who work at the movie theater. Their main function is active shooter situations and to protect the theater staff. However, sometimes they get bored and chase noisy teenagers out of the movies. Or catch kids sneaking into the theater or into other movies after theirs has ended.
"I don't want to sneak into this movie. The Popcorn Police will catch us!" "The Popcorn police are eyeballing our group. We better be quiet."
by Valhalla MMA April 23, 2019
There you are, comfortably seated, and just finished doing your business, when you realize, There Is No Freaking Toliet Paper! Karma has chosen this moment to give you that little payback you know you've got coming ;)
Presented with few cringworthy options, you notice the small waste basket your girl keeps next to the toilet. Therein lies the "Mystery Wipe."
Now this is a real gamble. Like a bad fortune cookie, you just don't know what you're gonna get. But, after pondering the alternative, you close your eyes and reluctantly dig-in, hoping for the best. We've ALL been there;)
Presented with few cringworthy options, you notice the small waste basket your girl keeps next to the toilet. Therein lies the "Mystery Wipe."
Now this is a real gamble. Like a bad fortune cookie, you just don't know what you're gonna get. But, after pondering the alternative, you close your eyes and reluctantly dig-in, hoping for the best. We've ALL been there;)
by Valhalla MMA May 13, 2019