Bejeweled Blitz

A Facebook game that is like crack for housewives.

Me at 7:00am: "See you later honey. Don't play Bejeweled Blitz."
Her: "'Kay. 'Bye" She goes to computer
Me at 6:00pm: "I'm back. Honey: the house burned down and the kids are gone!!!!"
Her: "Shelly just got 127,000! I've got to beat her..."

by Uncle Des July 12, 2009

Hearing Aid

Derogatory term for a Bluetooth earpiece worn by anyone over 40 years old in the sad belief that it makes them look cool. Seen from the opposite side, it makes them look like an old person suffering from semile dementia and talking to themselves.

Middle-aged woman apparently talking to herself in park.
Guy: "What's up with grandma over there?"
Girl: "She's on her hearing aid again to her daughter."

by Uncle Des August 21, 2009

Utica

Like being dead, but without the fun.

"I died and went to Utica."

"Utica failed in its bid to be twinned with Pluto"

by Uncle Des November 25, 2009

In-law in-law

Your spouse's brother's/sister's spouse. Basically someone who will never be related to your kids, so you don't have to give a shit about. The feeling is mutual.

Your Wife: "My brother Todd's wife is such a cow!"

You: "Who gives a rat's? She's my in-law in-law."

by Uncle Des August 09, 2010

Woman-Hole

The ladies' equivalent of a man-cave. For some reason, this phrase is not used by women at all.

Wife of Des: "I've finally got my special room sorted out"

Des: "Great. So I've got my man-cave and you're got your woman-hole."

Wife of Des: Silence: stares at Des

Des: "What??!!"

by Uncle Des December 04, 2010