Torbert's definitions

Scrape

A scrape is what happens when you're sitting too far back on a toilet seat. You then shit and the outgoing turd log scrapes against the rim of the seat leaving a brown buildup of shit-sludge.

I don't want to be rude, but I went into the bathroom right after Julie and first, it stank like two horses had anal sex after a each having a big meal and two, there was a scrape on the seat.

by Torbert July 30, 2019

breand

To have breand is to have after your only friend be a loaf of bread.

After the accident , losing his wife, his job and not being allowed to coach soccer, Bob’s breand was a loaf of sourdough that was hard as a rock.

by Torbert February 22, 2025

Firus

1. A firus is a fire that happen during a viral pandemic that not only burns land and property but also infects firefighters who must work closely together

John had to work that Firus in Liberty county, OR. 25,000 acres and 20 cases of Covid amongst the crew.

by Torbert September 8, 2020

blasterdam

A proclamation made usually a Dutch or Scandinavian person when they’re astounded by something. It is the equivalent of “I’ll be”.

Lars saw the Space X rocket land vertically
and said “blasterdam, that’s amazing!”

by Torbert March 28, 2021

glandlord

A glandlord is an old, morbidly obese and sweaty owner of an apartment building
occupied by young healthy adults.

After discovering who the peeping tom was, Mona told her glandlord she had already paid her rent snd he owed her money or free rent for all the unpaid shows he was enjoying.

by Torbert June 5, 2021

gloaca

A Gloaca is the glowing version of the cloaca, the orifice of a chicken that serves as both vagina and poop chute.

After Chernobyl, you should have seen it in here, all my chickens got irrardated. At night you could see all these Gloacas every time they pooped or laid an egg.

by Torbert August 26, 2022

sphincter memory

Sphincter memory is the memory of the sensation you feel in your anus when passing an especially large diameter
bowel movement.

Margot smiled and then produced a little audible chortle as she had a sphincter memory of her early morning blowout where she gave birth to a very large fudge python.

by Torbert April 4, 2021