Tochterlieber's definitions

orthosexuality

Orthosexuality is a sexual orientation of being sexually attracted only to sexually mature individuals of the opposite sex, and of the same species.

"Look at that attractive, healthy-looking 18-year-old fellow human of the opposite sex over there! I want to get naked with that individual."
"Why do you flaunt your orthosexuality?"

by Tochterlieber May 3, 2014

Crawlback number

The phone number you use to call up your ex to try to get back together with them.

"So, after your ex told you that you're a failure as a man, that you were a failure as a husband, and that you would've been a failure as a father, you're still going to try to get back together with her? How are you even going to reach her? I thought she blocked you from everything."
"I think I still have her cell in my incoming call history, so I'll just use that as a crawlback number."

by Tochterlieber September 21, 2014

come out of the toy box

To "come out of the tox box" means to admit to being a pedophile.

"James got drunk yesterday and start saying what he most wishes he could do is tap a 7-year-old girl sometime."
"Damn, man, he decided to just come out of the toy box like that to you?"

by Tochterlieber March 23, 2014

enhancement smoker

A person who smokes cannabis or other smokable drugs primarily to enhance other experiences (rather than simply for the "high" itself). Such individuals are less likely to enjoy merely smoking and sitting around doing nothing. This phrase was popularized by Jon Stewart's character in "Half Baked."

Enhancement Smoker: You ever see the back of a twenty dollar bill... on WEED?

by Tochterlieber June 26, 2008

polyqueer

A catchall for polyamorous relationships and attractions with so many nuances that they can't be described in a short sentence such as "it's an open relationship" or "we're swingers" or "I want to have a stable of broads all to myself (i.e. a harem)". If the relationship would be described on Facebook as "it's complicated" then it's probably polyqueer.

"You guys are swingers, right?"
"Actually I'm in a polyqueer, ethically non-monogamous adelphogamous relationship with Jay and his brother Rob, both of whom also are part of a triad with their ambigusweetie Julia, when she is available under the terms of her geographical non-monogamous relationship with her husband Troy, who's serving in Iraq right now."
"Oh. So you're swingers, then?"

by Tochterlieber May 16, 2014

Well, i'm glad you find this so amusing

A phrase that is never used literally, but rather is always a response to someone's laughing or poking fun at a problem the person has reason to be seriously concerned about. Sometimes this reproach is, itself, used in a half-amused, bantering way.

"The doctor said that I tested negative for cervical cancer, so I won't be at risk of infertility after all."
"Good to hear that it didn't render your reproductive organs totally out of cervix."
"Well, I'm glad you find this so amusing."

by Tochterlieber December 9, 2013

satiricritical

Using a mix of satire and straightforward criticism.

"I stumbled across this satiricritical article that starts with a point-by-point rebuttal of yesterday's State of the Union address and then compares Obamacare to sado-bestiality."
"LOL"

by Tochterlieber January 6, 2014