Tochterlieber's definitions

polyqueer

A catchall for polyamorous relationships and attractions with so many nuances that they can't be described in a short sentence such as "it's an open relationship" or "we're swingers" or "I want to have a stable of broads all to myself (i.e. a harem)". If the relationship would be described on Facebook as "it's complicated" then it's probably polyqueer.

"You guys are swingers, right?"
"Actually I'm in a polyqueer, ethically non-monogamous adelphogamous relationship with Jay and his brother Rob, both of whom also are part of a triad with their ambigusweetie Julia, when she is available under the terms of her geographical non-monogamous relationship with her husband Troy, who's serving in Iraq right now."
"Oh. So you're swingers, then?"

by Tochterlieber May 16, 2014

Chominators

Large, thick, usually horn-rimmed glasses that look like something a stereotypical chomo (child molestor) would wear. Also called "Predator 3000s."

Man, what you be wearing those chominators for?

Shut up, my regular pair of glasses broke so I'm wearing the ones the prison gave me.

by Tochterlieber June 27, 2012

orthosexuality

Orthosexuality is a sexual orientation of being sexually attracted only to sexually mature individuals of the opposite sex, and of the same species.

"Look at that attractive, healthy-looking 18-year-old fellow human of the opposite sex over there! I want to get naked with that individual."
"Why do you flaunt your orthosexuality?"

by Tochterlieber May 3, 2014

Crawlback number

The phone number you use to call up your ex to try to get back together with them.

"So, after your ex told you that you're a failure as a man, that you were a failure as a husband, and that you would've been a failure as a father, you're still going to try to get back together with her? How are you even going to reach her? I thought she blocked you from everything."
"I think I still have her cell in my incoming call history, so I'll just use that as a crawlback number."

by Tochterlieber September 21, 2014

come out of the toy box

To "come out of the tox box" means to admit to being a pedophile.

"James got drunk yesterday and start saying what he most wishes he could do is tap a 7-year-old girl sometime."
"Damn, man, he decided to just come out of the toy box like that to you?"

by Tochterlieber March 23, 2014

Prisingenuity

A knack for McGyver-like improvisation of tools using the scarce resources available in a prison environment.

"Wow, that's cool how you figured out how to make disposable one-hitters out of ferrules, so we can flush them after each session and not have to keep anything around that could be found if they shake us down."
"Once again, my prisingenuity saves the day."

by Tochterlieber June 30, 2012

noid

To become paranoid (usually temporarily, and often due to the influence of drugs such as cannabis or meth.)

After we smoked out in the parking lot, Kevin started noiding, thinking that someone might have seen us.

by Tochterlieber April 26, 2008