7 definitions by ThePenciler
A phenomenon on the internet that involves the inability and tendency for most people on the "net" to not comprehend when a joke or flippancy is being used in conversation and to credulously take what is said at face value. Hyperbole, bombastic statements, sarcasm and other tools of casual language are completely lost on them. Usually those who have little to no experience with online forums and chat rooms fall into this trap as they are often this dumb in real life. Sometimes children fall victim to this mental lapse, however there is still a chance they can grow a sense of humor before drinking age.
This behavior is often used as a compulsive and lame humor device in conversation which is an "epic phail" because it makes the humorist look like a credulous cretin instead of a sharp satirist. In actuality the idiot can't help but respond to everything they're reading or hearing and just has to make a comment, no matter how stupid. Often because the idiot doesn't know how to socialize normally.
See: gullible.
This behavior is often used as a compulsive and lame humor device in conversation which is an "epic phail" because it makes the humorist look like a credulous cretin instead of a sharp satirist. In actuality the idiot can't help but respond to everything they're reading or hearing and just has to make a comment, no matter how stupid. Often because the idiot doesn't know how to socialize normally.
See: gullible.
Molly: "OMG! I laughed so hard watching The Office last night I peed my pants!"
Idiot: "Really? Why would you admit that you peed your pants online? You probably have some kind of bladder condition that you need help for."
Molly: "Really?? Seriously?? I didn't actually pee my pants, dude. Yeesh!"
Idiot: "Then why did you say you did?"
Molly: "WOW! Just WOW! This is sooo literal 'net!"
Idiot: "Really? Why would you admit that you peed your pants online? You probably have some kind of bladder condition that you need help for."
Molly: "Really?? Seriously?? I didn't actually pee my pants, dude. Yeesh!"
Idiot: "Then why did you say you did?"
Molly: "WOW! Just WOW! This is sooo literal 'net!"
by ThePenciler February 22, 2010
When a person you've known your entire life to be a decent person or someone who hasn't expressed it during conversation yet suddenly and obliviously expresses casual racism in conversation. Surprise! It's racism!
1: "Hey guys, want to go get some Chinese for tonight?"
2: "Hell yeah! Sounds good!"
3: "Yeah! Great idea! 'Ching chong bing bong', as they say!"
1: "Dude, not cool."
3: "What!?"
2: *facepalm* "Talk about surprise racism."
1: To 3 "Now you can't come along, jerkface."
3: "Seriously! What!? And I was all ready for chink food."
1 & 2: "DUDE! WHAT THE HELL?? STOP IT!"
2: "Hell yeah! Sounds good!"
3: "Yeah! Great idea! 'Ching chong bing bong', as they say!"
1: "Dude, not cool."
3: "What!?"
2: *facepalm* "Talk about surprise racism."
1: To 3 "Now you can't come along, jerkface."
3: "Seriously! What!? And I was all ready for chink food."
1 & 2: "DUDE! WHAT THE HELL?? STOP IT!"
by ThePenciler December 22, 2013
"Manufactured pop" is a pejorative for a type of music created by cynical and greedy music labels for no other reason than to keep 150% of all profits made from legions of young (sometimes older) impressionable and gullible LCD-type fans who have no taste (the extra 50% is debt owed by the stars that can never realistically be paid back and is a constantly moving goal line). The pop stars are often no more than paid actors who can moderately dance and sing a few notes with the help of Auto-Tune in the studio and a recording of someone who can sing ok on live tours. They essentially sell their lives/souls to these corporations for the desperate chance that they'll "make it big" one day (see: "It's a trap!"). Which of course they never can do on their own, not without the money of Big Music behind them. Every aspect of their lives is decided by a board of directors or a soulless cutthroat marketing team. They decide, from a formula decided early on, who the star(s) can marry, when they get the bitter divorce, if and when they can get preggers, when to have the break down, when to enter rehab and when to write their "tell-all" novel or star in their bio-pic that subliminally hawks other corporate properties. The Walt Disney Corporation is known for doing this and many of their manufactured pop stars are alumni of the Mickey Mouse Club. Other record companies are known to do this as well.
by ThePenciler August 10, 2010
The user's understanding of computers was so wrongheaded as to be a hairball of ignorance and superstition, the origin of which may never be fully discovered or understood.
by ThePenciler March 14, 2015
Usually afflicting fathers-to-be and men and women who haven't been through pregnancy yet, this is a visual/brain problem that prevents a person from seeing in an ultrasound image where the baby is when it's perfectly obvious to the doctor and pregnant mother-to-be. Sometimes, but always, the pregnant woman will suffer from this affliction as well. You should worry if the doctor has it too.
Doctor: "Aaand there's our little guy!"
Mom: "Awww, he looks so cute! Doesn't he look beautiful, hon?"
Dad: "I-I guess so... Where is he again?"
Doctor: See? That's his hand with his 4 little fingers and thumb and you can also see his fingernails. And if you squint real hard you can see the individual atoms making up his penis."
Mom: "See honey? See his little peenee?"
Dad: "What...? I- don't... Wha...?"
Doctor to Mom: "He must be suffering from ultrasound blindness. Perfectly normal for fathers-to-be and village idiots. He's just not as awesome as you and I."
*both doctor and mom then laugh at dad's expense*
Mom: "Awww, he looks so cute! Doesn't he look beautiful, hon?"
Dad: "I-I guess so... Where is he again?"
Doctor: See? That's his hand with his 4 little fingers and thumb and you can also see his fingernails. And if you squint real hard you can see the individual atoms making up his penis."
Mom: "See honey? See his little peenee?"
Dad: "What...? I- don't... Wha...?"
Doctor to Mom: "He must be suffering from ultrasound blindness. Perfectly normal for fathers-to-be and village idiots. He's just not as awesome as you and I."
*both doctor and mom then laugh at dad's expense*
by ThePenciler February 24, 2010
sexual harassment Someone who likes to grab people a lot. Especially when it comes to grabbing women and their breasts or butts.
by ThePenciler December 20, 2009
An argument between a guy and a gal where the points made on either side can't be proven convincingly enough by either party to someone who has no clue what they're arguing about. Further exacerbated because you have no idea if either person is exaggerating or telling the truth and so nothing can be resolved. You know someone is lying about something, you just can't tell who. Usually the argument revolves around the relationship, money (who spends more on who), or some other pointless crap. Usually they've reached a point in their relationship where they really shouldn't be together and they're just arguing about anything and everything just to argue. Lawsuits can come from this.
Guy: "This b**** told me that she's never been with anybody before, but I found out she's been with a dude who died 3 years ago and didn't tell me about it!"
Gal: "That wasn't a romantic relationship! He was gay! I was just his friend!"
Third party: "Yeah, I can't tell if either of you is telling the truth. The dude's dead and so any proof of him being gay probably died with him if we was in the closet to everybody else. Gal, the gay card could be an excuse to get out of a lie. And you, guy, you could just be a jealous jackass and making this stuff up. It's a classic he said she said."
Gal: "That wasn't a romantic relationship! He was gay! I was just his friend!"
Third party: "Yeah, I can't tell if either of you is telling the truth. The dude's dead and so any proof of him being gay probably died with him if we was in the closet to everybody else. Gal, the gay card could be an excuse to get out of a lie. And you, guy, you could just be a jealous jackass and making this stuff up. It's a classic he said she said."
by ThePenciler August 27, 2010