StormSworder's definitions

Plushophile

Someone who has some kind of relationship with a plush (a furry toy). This person is not automatically perverted. They may just be unable to mix with other people socially. I'm sure there are some such people who do nothing more than look after their plush, care for it and cuddle it in front of the TV as though it was a person. On the other end of the scale, however, I think the 'inflatable doll' mentality is taken to severe extremes. Plushophiles who have full-sex relationships with their cuddly toys make a hole between the toy's legs and....well, you can guess the rest.

A certain type of plushophile seems to have misunderstood what 'taking a cuddly toy to bed' means.

by Stormsworder May 30, 2007

cd-r

CD-Rs are shiny disc-shaped objects which are sold in packs of about fifty. Once purchased, they can be used as bird-tables, wheels for large toy cars, hula-hoop rings your pet stick insect can use to keep itself in shape or things you can twirl around on top of sticks like in kids' variety shows. They can also be instrumental for your survival. If you are ever attacked by a T-Rex or other dangerous flesh-eating dinosaur, use the shiny surface of the CD-R to reflect the sunlight into its eyes. This will dazzle the beast and allow you valuable time to escape.

Note: CD-Rs are not for use with any kind of computer. If you put one in the disc drive and try to save any documents or data on it, you'll get a message telling you to insert a disc in the disc drive. That means the kind of disc which can be recorded on. These kinds of discs are currently on sale in most good stores on the planet Arcturus 3, or you can order them from Merlin's Mystic Store of Magic (ask for Harry).

by Stormsworder October 16, 2007

Daddy's Little Girl

A girl (teenaged or older) who is basically still tied to her father's apron-strings (or whatever the male equivolent of apron-springs are). She is usually a spoilt brat, owns nice clothes, maybe a car, has her hair done every five minutes, all on Daddy's credit card. Dates boys she thinks are good enough for the likes of her, but if they do anything wrong then Daddy will basically be after giving them a stern talking-to (or a good hiding, depending on what sort of person Daddy is).

"There's that Daddy's Little Girl again. She just pulled up in her brand new car and has strutted in wearing designer clothes and with her expensive hair-do. Do you think she ever wonders what it's like to earn anything in life?"

by StormSworder August 19, 2006

daddy longlegs

Despite popular belief, a daddy longlegs is a spider with a small body and long, spindly legs. What most people think of as a daddy longlegs is actualy called a crane fly. Spiders like daddy longlegs are most common in summer, especialy during hot summers when there are a lot of insects about.

Don't kill a daddy longlegs, or any other kind of spider. They eat household pests.

by Stormsworder April 22, 2007

fouling the pavement

1: What people continue to let their dogs do despite so-called laws.

2: What the council do by putting up all those hideous new lamp posts (usually featureless metal posts with shapeless lumps of plastic on top of them, resembling giant golf clubs). Thanks to carefree, penny-pinching councils, we now have old town and village centres looking like football pitches full of floodlights. We also have landfill sights struggling to cope with the thousands of perfectly good lamp posts which have been removed due to pointless rules and regulations.

Howcome the council don't get fined for fouling the pavement. Go away and take your cheap rubbish with you.

by Stormsworder October 25, 2006

david cameron

The current leader of the UK Conservative party, David Cameron just about sums up the Tories as of late. The UK government has never been so openly and blatantly corrupt, sleazy, spiteful and dishonest. Any half-decent opposition would have knocked the New Labour party into oblivion after their first term in power. Which shows just how useless the Tory party is. Cameron himself is an ex-Etonian, stuck atop an ivory tower with no idea of the working classes or life outside his pampered little world. Since becoming leader he is hell-bent on turning the Tories into an immitation of New Labour (why have an opposition in that case?) and is determined to go soft on crime, trying to generate sympathy for criminals. Pity he can't show any sympathy for the victims. Like Blair, Cameron is just window-dressing for a party obsessed with PC, PR and image. If you ask me, the remaining Tories true to the party's principles should break away and form their own party. See how long Cameron and his band of spoon-fed, liberal soft-heads survive on their own. The latest PC stunt, appointing an asian female MP, had blown up in Cameron's face, as she is talking more sense than all his cronies put together and no-one can accuse her of racism or sexism. I say Patel for the next leader of the Tory party.

David Cameron doesn't want the Tory party to come to power, let's be honest. Because if they get elected, the Tories won't have a clue what they're supposed to do. Unless....
Cameron: "Er, excuse me, Tony. Hang on a minute, will you. What exactly is it a government is supposed to do?"

by Stormsworder December 1, 2006

swimming pool

A pool of water used for teaching children to swim or simply for swimming for relaxation or to keep fit. Outdoor ones are best avoided in summer as they end up like a swampland with wildlife to match.

Never swallow any water in a swimming pool. Ten to one someone has gone for a piss (or worse) in the pool.

by Stormsworder May 31, 2007