Smart American Male's definitions

Vanessa Hudgens

A Filipino actress who just can't seem to grow out of childrens movies due to the marketing ploy called the "High School Musical" trilogy. Despite that she's had nude photos taken of her across the internet, there really is nothing or hers worth staring at. With no particular beauty, no particular talent, and a bitchy personality, the only thing that's keeping her a celebrity is (1) tenure from Disney, (2) her pussy, Zac Efron and her best friend, Ashley Tisdale, and (3) the media being forced to keep their eyes on her. One Disney alumni who practically is the opposite of Vanessa Hudgens is Hayden Panettiere, who actually has dedicated her life to making the world better for everyone.

Girl: Oh my god! Vanessa Hudgens is in here! Let's go meet her right away!
Boy: Hey, isn't that one of those "cool" kids from our school? Sure looks like it.
Girl: What?! But she's...uh...she's got a ton of money. Yeah!
Boy: Like the kind she finds in her underwear at clubs?
Girl: I guess your right, perhaps I can find girls hotter AND more friendly than her. It's possible.

by Smart American Male June 2, 2008

greasemo

A dirty old man; A overgreased slice of pizza; An oil changing expert

"Help! This greasemo from the alley tried to grab me!"

"Eww! This slice is a greasemo! Get me a napkin or something!"

"Damn! That car oil was fast! You greasemos are alright!"

by Smart American Male October 24, 2006

Ashley Tisdale

Okay. Not good, great, bad, or terrible. Just okay. One would come to realize when coming across something like an interview on TV or in a magazine, if you can at least sustain the sight of that weird face of hers. Or finding out that the porn star and the prettyboy cunt aren't her friends anymore. Or even just because she's not with Disney anymore and that biohazard blond hair is now a strange colored brown. But still be kept caution after hearing that she's still eight kinds of people at once, and she is that old to still be wanting anything she wants.

Great - Obviously, no female stars have gotten here.
Good - Hayden Panettiere/Taylor Swift
Okay - Ashley Tisdale
Bad - Projects "Demi"/"Selena"/others from Disney/Jamie Lynn
Terrible - Projects "Miley"/"Vanessa".

Mary: What do you think of this girl?
Tim: Meh. She's Ashley Tisdale.
Mary: NUH UH!!! She can't be! Only Hannah Montana could be 2 different people! AHHHH!!!
Tim: No, you fucktard. I mean she's not bad. She's okay, but keep looking.

by Smart American Male June 8, 2009

Roger Clemens

Now a 45 year old attention whore, Clemens was once a great baseball player who has played for the Toronto Blue Jays, the Houston Astros, and the New York Yankees. As he got older he's become a roid freak to win back his long time boyfriend Brian McNamee. But it costed him his respect and fame.

Roger Clemens is too old. But he just won't give up.

by Smart American Male June 2, 2008

freaker

A male or female with various gimmicks & can be very unpredictable sometimes. They dress in goth/punk clothing, are expected to abuse drugs, & are very bipolar at times & may holler something in your face when you least expect it. Just punch them in the face or take a picture of them while they holler, to prevent another similar incident.

"Oh man nigga it was mad stupid! The alley was like full--"
"Hey buddy...wanna rock with me?"
"...What?!"
"BLAARGUWSHINDUHIFF!"
"Man you freak us out! Now piss off! Damn freaker!"

by Smart American Male September 10, 2006

graham cracker

An old person who tries to act cool.

Kid: Hey! Get a load of the graham cracker! Ahaha!
Man: Is that a geezer on a skateboard?!
Old Man: LOOGAME! WHEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Kid & Man together: A 360 Varial McTwist?!

by Smart American Male October 18, 2006

MLB

1. A poorly formatted league with the dumbest fans and dumbest officials that makes it the worst sport ever. It's consisted of 162 long tedious games with no time limit, whereas the "postseason" only lasts about a week long. The objective of the game is to hit a ball with a bat and guide your fellow Dominicans to home plate without getting out. But the real objective is to make the most money than any other player. Players are allowed to create buzz by talking trash, being a distraction, juicing up, and any other idiotic actions to attract the media.

2. "America's favorite past time".

3. "The Dominican Republic and Puerto Rico's favorite present time".

4. A sports league made up of 29 teams and one over-dramatic news tycoon (NYY).

5. An overrated drama queen of a sport. They care so much that Bud Selig pays ESPN to cover the MLB 24/7, even during the offseason. Whenever ESPN doesn't highlight any games, they whine like little bitches about the Yankees, the Red Sox, the Mets, Manny Ramirez, Ozzie Guillen, steroid scandals, retired players in investigations, and any other bullshit they can think of.

6. A method to make a load of money by barely doing anything at all. Such notable activities include standing on a grass field, sitting in a dugout, running 90 feet, running 10 feet to grab the baseball, standing on a small white bag, doing a couple of silly movements to throw the ball really fast to a teammate standing just 50 feet away, and many many more adrenalating activities. Of course, those other players don't get much money for running back and forth every play trying to swerve past other guys and lob the ball in an orange ring, or trying to carry the ball for about 300 feet at the expense that you get knocked down every play. Sure, I believe you.

1. The MLB sucks.

2. US Citizen: I used to like the MLB. Wow, was I such a stupid, stupid kid.

3. Islander: Like baseball is our religion! Every day we go to the church to pray to Babe Ruth.

4. Yankee fan: The Yankees are the best team EVER! Like they land all the good players and shit, and I'm oblivious to why that is. But I heard they are all great in bed, according to ESPN, so that must make them great players!

5. ESPN anchor: Did you know that there are 5 pitchers that homered in a 1-0 game? Just how stupid is this stat?! Nawmally good!

This just in, Sportscenter ratings sink 100% after covering their 30th straight hour on A-Rod's personal crisis.

6. Derek Jeter: LOL Hockey sucks! Even though I won't last three minutes in an ice rink. I have no penis.

by Smart American Male May 3, 2009