SkidMarkyMark's definitions

jackpack

n. The bag in which Jack Bauer carries his gun, PDA, ammo, cell phone, duct tape, knife, scope, etc. It is NOT a man purse.

The terrorists thought they had Bauer at last, but he pulled a bazooka out of his jackpack.

by SkidMarkyMark May 12, 2006

kentucky doorbell

To drive up to someone's house or apartment and proceed to honk the horn until they come out, rather than going to all the trouble of exiting the vehicle and going to the door.

Cletus across the street had a friend that would ring the Kentucky doorbell each morning at 5:00 am. I say "had" because me and my tire iron had a little chat with him.

by SkidMarkyMark May 28, 2006

rubber peter

n. A dildo. A peter made of rubber.

In a classic "Brady Bunch" episode, Alice gets Peter to help her move a rubber tree plant into the bedroom, to get it out of the way so she can vacuum. They accidentally get locked in, and call to Bobby for help. He can't get the door open, so he runs to find his mom, and when he finally does he's out of breath and all he can get out is, "Mom...Alice...in the bedroom...rubber...Peter." And Mrs. Brady thinks Bobby has seen Alice masturbating with a rubber peter. Mrs. Brady screams, "Jesus Fucking Christ" and goes running off to the bedroom and kicks down the door. When she realizes her mistake, they all have a good laugh at it. This was the best Brady Bunch episode ever.

by SkidMarkyMark June 11, 2006

johnny package

n. A generic term that refers to any bland airheaded male, like a frat boy or underwear model. His signficant other is named "Muffy Imeasy."

Whoah! Check out Johnny Package and Muffy Imeasy over there at the GAP.

by SkidMarkyMark May 12, 2006

reaches rock

v. to achieve an erection

"I am hard as a rock," said Congressman Foley to the 16-year-old boy, "so tell me when yours reaches rock."

by SkidMarkyMark October 3, 2006

freedom pinata

n. An Iraqi improvised explosive device (IED) that misses its intended target and is not, therefore, officially counted as an incidence of violence towards US Forces. Because maybe it's just how the Iraqis celebrate their wonderful new democracy, and wasn't really meant to hurt anyone.

An IED that doesn't involve US personnel? That's not an act of violence, that's a Freedom Pinata.

(Seen on fark.com)

by SkidMarkyMark December 7, 2006

Yale Rule

The Yale Rule states that within five minutes of meeting someone who attended Yale, you will be informed of that fact. This is rather humorous, particularly given that Yale isn't that great a school.

"Greetings, my name is Throckmorton Q. Covington; pleased to meet you. I say, it's a fine day. It reminds me of when I was a young lad attending Yale...."

Ha! The Yale Rule's been proven once again!

by SkidMarkyMark June 11, 2006