SkidMarkyMark's definitions

jerky treats

n. Hand jobs. Term first heard on C.S.I. on 1 Feb 2007. Plays off the phrase jerk off, while managing to sound innocuous--like a dog treat.

"Did you have sex with the clients?"
"No, just jerky treats."

by SkidMarkyMark February 6, 2007

low interest light

n. If humans came equipped with dashboards, this would be the indicator light that shows you have no interest in a given activity.

I need you to attend tomorrow's weekly meeting for me; my low interest light just came on.

by SkidMarkyMark February 1, 2007

hiking the Appalachian Trail

v. To carry on an extramarital affair.

Governor Sanford can't meet with you today; he's "hiking the Appalachian Trail."

by SkidMarkyMark June 25, 2009

PTT

An acronym that stands for "Push To Talk." It refers to a particular mode of cell phone usage wherein one holds the device in front of one's face, yelling at it and listening to its tinny speaker which continuously squawks an annoying chirping noise. A way for white trash and other lower orders to amuse themselves by pretending they're talking on radios just like policemen.

If you're using PTT on your cell phone, you're a waste of skin and should just kill yourself right now.

by SkidMarkyMark October 18, 2006

johnny package

n. A generic term that refers to any bland airheaded male, like a frat boy or underwear model. His signficant other is named "Muffy Imeasy."

Whoah! Check out Johnny Package and Muffy Imeasy over there at the GAP.

by SkidMarkyMark May 12, 2006

rubber peter

n. A dildo. A peter made of rubber.

In a classic "Brady Bunch" episode, Alice gets Peter to help her move a rubber tree plant into the bedroom, to get it out of the way so she can vacuum. They accidentally get locked in, and call to Bobby for help. He can't get the door open, so he runs to find his mom, and when he finally does he's out of breath and all he can get out is, "Mom...Alice...in the bedroom...rubber...Peter." And Mrs. Brady thinks Bobby has seen Alice masturbating with a rubber peter. Mrs. Brady screams, "Jesus Fucking Christ" and goes running off to the bedroom and kicks down the door. When she realizes her mistake, they all have a good laugh at it. This was the best Brady Bunch episode ever.

by SkidMarkyMark June 11, 2006

colder than a snowman's junk

adj. When the ambient outdoor temperature is less than the average temperature of the genitalia of a snowman; i.e., very, very cold.

Fuck me, it's colder than a snowman's junk out here!

by SkidMarkyMark November 7, 2009