4 definitions by RealTailDragger

A stern warning to TSA gropers to not touch John Tyner's penis or balls when told he was about to undergo a "groin check".
Don't touch my junk. If you touch my junk, I'm going to have you arrested. -- John Tyner, San Diego Airport, November 13, 2010
by RealTailDragger November 19, 2010
Running from one airport gate to another in a nearly hopeless attempt to catch a flight. The cardiac dash is almost always done dragging along carry on baggage and is frequently performed by an overweight passenger who's only other exercise is masterbating to porn when the wife goes to bed. A successful cardiac dash ends with the passenger making the flight and not being shipped back home in a body bag.
Fuck, I'm going to have to do the cardiac dash between johnson gates.
by RealTailDragger November 08, 2010
The furthest-out gate on an airline terminal, especially when you have a tight connecting flight...like 12 minutes to get from F33 to A17. When you've run from one gate to another you had better check to see if you left your johnson back on the earlier flight.
Fuck, I'm going to have to do the cardiac dash between johnson gates.
by RealTailDragger November 08, 2010
"Security theater" is a term that describes security countermeasures intended to provide the feeling of improved security while doing little or nothing to actually improve security.
Enhanced pat downs are pure security theater. It won't detect detect a bomb jammed up someone's ass.
by RealTailDragger November 19, 2010

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