10 definitions by PortableBacon
"No one has any money left and everything costs too much. Watch out for scams and keep to yourself."
"Too late. I helped some old boomer pick up her groceries and she accused me of damaging them. She demanded I pay for them or she would call the police. What has our country become? It hasn't just gone adrift, it's gone agrift."
"Too late. I helped some old boomer pick up her groceries and she accused me of damaging them. She demanded I pay for them or she would call the police. What has our country become? It hasn't just gone adrift, it's gone agrift."
by PortableBacon April 30, 2022
When people play the victim card and bend over backwards to be as offended as possible when they really aren't. Using hissy fits, political correctness, character assassination, and a false sense of moral authority, the outrager hopes to gain power and public recognition for their brave act of justice as well as a sense of control over their meaningless existence. Often accompanied by demands for financial compensation for their "pain and suffering".
"Why do we have warning labels that say 'Contains peanuts' on peanut jars and 'Contains milk' on milk cartons? Can't we just go back to using common sense instead of having to litigate everything in fear of lawsuits?"
"We only have the outrage culture to blame."
"We only have the outrage culture to blame."
by PortableBacon September 30, 2014
A poor and thinly veiled attempt by internet service providers to keep costs down and limit services by blaming users for using "too much bandwidth", despite receiving billions in government subsidies meant to expand and improve national internet infrastructure, but which were instead maliciously pocketed by internet service executives.
Customer: "How the fuck am I over my monthly data cap?"
Internet Service Representative "If you would just look right here in the contract you signed, we can arbitrarily fuck you over by making up whatever numbers we want. And we don't care if we get caught because whatever penalties we pay is a tiny fraction of the profit we make from our illegal schemes."
Internet Service Representative "If you would just look right here in the contract you signed, we can arbitrarily fuck you over by making up whatever numbers we want. And we don't care if we get caught because whatever penalties we pay is a tiny fraction of the profit we make from our illegal schemes."
by PortableBacon June 23, 2019
"This product seems good. It's got a perfect 5 stars, might as well buy it now. Also, did you see this latest counterfeit scam?"
"All those reviewers have only one review on their profile and it's only for that product. Also, that article is from a satire website. Learn to fakespot."
"All those reviewers have only one review on their profile and it's only for that product. Also, that article is from a satire website. Learn to fakespot."
by PortableBacon August 8, 2016
When left wing politicians lose to the dirty tactics of right wing politicians because they feel that their personal integrity is more important than protecting their constituents.
Alternatively, those left wing politicians who have embraced the fact that keeping their position (and income via corporate paychecks and inside trading) only requires maintaining the appearance of high road morality, which is easy enough to do by acting stupid and pretending not to notice when their supposed political opponents act in bad faith.
Alternatively, those left wing politicians who have embraced the fact that keeping their position (and income via corporate paychecks and inside trading) only requires maintaining the appearance of high road morality, which is easy enough to do by acting stupid and pretending not to notice when their supposed political opponents act in bad faith.
American People: The Republican Party has been subsumed by foreign money and fascist elements. They've now taken over the major branches of government in a way that the checks and balances system no longer works, enacting policies that represent a shrinking minority of the populace. At the same time, they push fake conspiracies and promote false reality constructivism to fabricate invisible enemies to justify their bullshit. Why do you keep pretending like they aren't acting in bad faith?
Democrats: When they go low, we go high.
*Democrats proceed to seize the high ground while Republicans proceed to seize the Supreme Court*
Anyone with a brain: High road defeatism is not a winning strategy.
Democrats: When they go low, we go high.
*Democrats proceed to seize the high ground while Republicans proceed to seize the Supreme Court*
Anyone with a brain: High road defeatism is not a winning strategy.
by PortableBacon June 30, 2022
Tentacle porn where the victim or victims are willing participants, thus giving consent for sexual intercourse with said tentacles
Tentacle porn is great, but consentacles are the best!
I wouldn't mind having some hot consentacle sex right now.
I wouldn't mind having some hot consentacle sex right now.
by PortableBacon June 1, 2010
krashmo: Wow.. I haven't laughed that hard in a while. It made my reddit poop quite a bit more interesting.
by PortableBacon January 14, 2012