30 definitions by Peter Greenwall
Leon: hey how did your date go with that girl you met on facebook?
Peter: Holy crap dude, complete date rip!! She gets nailed on 3 mojitos, orders the seafood platter, bitched about all her cheap friends, doesn't even offer to pay when the bill comes, and then when I take her home she blows me a kiss and says 'call me'.
Peter: Holy crap dude, complete date rip!! She gets nailed on 3 mojitos, orders the seafood platter, bitched about all her cheap friends, doesn't even offer to pay when the bill comes, and then when I take her home she blows me a kiss and says 'call me'.
by Peter Greenwall January 22, 2010
wait WTF did I just laugh at? I'm LOL triggered here - The 'Say My Name In Every Song' comedy sketch is funny as hell but she pulls a gun on her boyfriend saying 'dont sing another bitches name nigga’ - how is this okay? If the guy was holding the gun to the woman's head people would be like TRIGGERED: woman abuse! violence against women! I’m totally LOL triggered here
by Peter Greenwall August 28, 2018
'dramatic purposes'; changing the facts to make your story funnier or more interesting (and possibly to dodge potential defamatory / libel lawsuits)
some of the characters names and certain locations and events have been fictionalised for hysterical accuracy
by Peter Greenwall April 24, 2011
I woke up with a raging groupon this morn - inbox filled with so many exciting deals, what to do?? apple mini speakers? anti-stress facial? love massage neck pillow? ooh the flotation pool treatment looks good, but then so does a Indian head neck & shoulder, or a photoshoot I could justify, somehow. Hey anyone know what the regular price of non invasive ultrasound liposuction is? How do I know $240 is a good deal?
by Peter Greenwall November 7, 2011
the traumatic stress you feel between the moment you post something on the Internet and the moment somebody likes it or responds
so I post this hilarious pic of me playing air guitar and within 37 minutes I get no response. No likes, no comments. Nothing. So here I am staring blankly at my Facebook wall with a severe case of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder as I wait for somebody to like my hilarious new update
by Peter Greenwall March 10, 2013
a fee that restaurants with unused tables could charge for people who want to bring their own food, as long as they order drinks
Hostess: Table for 2?
Diner: Well actually we were just on our way home to eat our take-aways and we saw all these empty tables outside your pub, so we were wondering if you'd let us sit outside. You're welcome to charge us a 'forkage' and we'll order 2 beers...
Hostess: so you'd like to have a picnic at our restaurant. Is that correct?
Diner: kind of yes! But if you're concerned about the take-away boxes, you could serve us the food on your own plates - we promise to tip the waiter! Why don't you suggest the concept to your boss, as a way to fill unused tables?
Diner: Well actually we were just on our way home to eat our take-aways and we saw all these empty tables outside your pub, so we were wondering if you'd let us sit outside. You're welcome to charge us a 'forkage' and we'll order 2 beers...
Hostess: so you'd like to have a picnic at our restaurant. Is that correct?
Diner: kind of yes! But if you're concerned about the take-away boxes, you could serve us the food on your own plates - we promise to tip the waiter! Why don't you suggest the concept to your boss, as a way to fill unused tables?
by Peter Greenwall May 31, 2011
the taxonomy of mysteries; the practice of labeling confusion in order to make new conditions or weird phenomena feel understandable and normal
all entries in the urban dictionary come about through mystonomy
why do I feel the need to chase supermodels and buy sports cars even though I’m married with kids? via mystonomy, that becomes ‘mid-life crisis’ (source unknown)
why do I feel depressed? via mystonomy: ‘depression' (source unknown)
how is it that we don't fall off the planet? via mystonomy: 'gravity' by Isaac Newton
why am I utterly bored at work? via mystonomy: 'boreout' by Peter Werder
why does my penis shrink when it gets cold? via mystonomy: 'shrinkage' by Seinfeld
why do I feel the need to chase supermodels and buy sports cars even though I’m married with kids? via mystonomy, that becomes ‘mid-life crisis’ (source unknown)
why do I feel depressed? via mystonomy: ‘depression' (source unknown)
how is it that we don't fall off the planet? via mystonomy: 'gravity' by Isaac Newton
why am I utterly bored at work? via mystonomy: 'boreout' by Peter Werder
why does my penis shrink when it gets cold? via mystonomy: 'shrinkage' by Seinfeld
by Peter Greenwall February 4, 2009