Peter Greenwall's definitions

Recipussity

the modern rebranding of reciprocity in transactional relationships, where the give and take is crystal clear: he offers finance security, or unsolicited display of affection (random dic pic) and she offers her... well assets. Think of it as the mutual exchange economy for trophy vibes and bedroom favours

Dude, I paid for her nails, dinner and that surprise spa day - don't you think a little #recipussity is fair?

by Peter Greenwall December 12, 2024

forkage

a fee that restaurants with unused tables could charge for people who want to bring their own food, as long as they order drinks

Hostess: Table for 2?

Diner: Well actually we were just on our way home to eat our take-aways and we saw all these empty tables outside your pub, so we were wondering if you'd let us sit outside. You're welcome to charge us a 'forkage' and we'll order 2 beers...

Hostess: so you'd like to have a picnic at our restaurant. Is that correct?

Diner: kind of yes! But if you're concerned about the take-away boxes, you could serve us the food on your own plates - we promise to tip the waiter! Why don't you suggest the concept to your boss, as a way to fill unused tables?

by Peter Greenwall October 31, 2011

voice-prompt hell

the frustration experienced when dialling a large organization to speak to a real person about a specific query that isn't covered by the maze of multiple automated options, and / or the voice recognition system can't understand you

I just spent at least 10 minutes in voice-prompt hell trying to speak to someone about my traffic fine, only to discover at the end there's an option to press zero to speak to a real person

by Peter Greenwall July 6, 2011

Ashed in

stuck where you are due to volcanic ash grounding all flights

excuse me, how long are we gonna be ashed in for?

impossible to say, the last time Eyjafjallajokull erupted it went on for 2 years. But I doubt you'll be ashed in for that long

by Peter Greenwall April 18, 2010

breaking muse

the latest amusing distraction, usually arriving by a digital medium e.g. text, e-mail forward, facebook notification, youtube etc.

e.g. 1. brb, I have breaking muse - Mike just tagged me in his photo-album 'stoned on the beach'

e.g. 2. BREAKING MUSE!! check out this youtube vid (link goes here)

e.g. 3. John is addicted to breaking muse - he constantly checks his facebook

e.g. 4. BREAKING MUSE! - Lisa just texted to say she's not coming! YAY

by Peter Greenwall February 4, 2009

Hysterical Accuracy

'dramatic purposes'; changing the facts to make your story funnier or more interesting (and possibly to dodge potential defamatory / libel lawsuits)

some of the characters names and certain locations and events have been fictionalised for hysterical accuracy

by Peter Greenwall May 14, 2011

Osknowsis

knowledge acquired subconsciously; the transfer of information from a high concentration (what you know about) to a low concentration (what you don't know), leading to a sudden solution; knowing something without knowing how you know it

e.g.1: On hiring a car and getting horribly lost, it suddenly occurred to the captain of the ship: why can't I have satellite navigation in my car? He had just invented it by Osknowsis.

e.g.2: "Dude, how do you know all the lyrics to Piano Man?"
Osknowsis - I don't remember learning them!

by Peter Greenwall February 4, 2009