Definitions by Patrick Bateman
poo cushion
a poo cushion is a temporary toilet seat cover made from sheets of toilet paper and it is used when making a poo in a public toilet is unavoidable and you don't want to have to sit your bare bum on the seat.
poo cushion by Patrick Bateman November 11, 2013
phantom
A word used to describe a poo which leaves no trace on the rectum. A poo which has such a clean exit from the anus that toilet roll is not necessary.
Jon: Just did a phantom, it was so awesome I didn't even need to wipe.
Or
Ryan: I was praying for a phantom because I was in a rush but that was one messy poop, trying to wipe my ass was more difficult than getting peanut butter out of a carpet.
Or
Ryan: I was praying for a phantom because I was in a rush but that was one messy poop, trying to wipe my ass was more difficult than getting peanut butter out of a carpet.
phantom by Patrick Bateman October 14, 2011
feeling the beat of the tambourine
another way to say that you have a hangover after you murdered 'dancing queen' at karaoke the night before...
feeling the beat of the tambourine by Patrick Bateman October 3, 2010
runny cupcake
This is when a guy (who has diaherra) puts cellophane over a girl's mouth. He then takes a crap in her mouth.
runny cupcake by Patrick Bateman May 24, 2004