66 definitions by Pantaloon

What the drive-thru cashier must smoke in order to suggest super-sizing your meal 5000 times a shift,25000 times a week, millions of times a year,billions and billions served.
"Welcome to Mcdonald's. Can I take your order? **snort**"
My mother-in-law and I gave each other a knowing look. The loudspeaker snort was a dead give-away for Mcfatty inhalation. We bummed a couple of tokes in order to keep quiet, and then headed to the motel with our post-coital snack.
by pantaloon January 24, 2008
see pre-cum,precum
Named for William Cowper, the man on whom it was discovered that a few drops of liquid form at the tip of his dick when it is aroused, and twas thought it might be a little something to leave the kids in the form of a legacy.
One day in London, circa 1890, James Worthington, Thomas Haley, and William Cowper were just hanging out at the lab with their Starbucks Mochachinos, calculating the orbits of moons, looking through microscopes, and whatnot, when Haley jumped up and exclaimed, "Cowper, don't move! Stay exactly the way you are!"
Worthington had his eye on the microscope looking at some platelets, when he turned toward Cowper, who was stroking himself absentmindedly. This was nothing unusual in the course of things, but Haley rummaged through the flasks and vials, and found a long q-tip and a test tube, and stepped gingerly toward Cowper's member.
"What on earth are you doing, Haley?!" Worthington implored.
"Sshush, James! You'll scare it away."
Haley reached in, as if offering a perch to a hummingbird and gently dabbed the end of Cowper's manhood, giving the stick gentle half turns with each dip. "Alas, I have it."
Cowper was sitting as if in a stupor, and relaxed the hold on his dick. He was experimenting with a technique his colleague Jefferson Kegel had shown him, and so was a bit otherwise absorbed.
They placed the q-tip under the slide and each took a taste. "Hmmm, it's not quite jism, is it Worthy?"
"No, something different. Cowper's fluid is somehow unique."
"And so it is," Haley announced. "Henceforth this stuff from the end of Bill's nub will be called "Cowper's fluid."
There was much rejoicing and merriment, and the ladies brought in trays of whiskey and a violin was produced. A great celebration was had by all.
by Pantaloon January 09, 2008
1)An organization that attempts to use creativity and higher levels of cognition to help to make the world a better place.
2)A place where neo-conservatives remove their brains and place them in a pot of boiling water. The results are then eaten just before the participants go on talk shows. Sometimes the hosts are even brought a small plate of the delicacy before the taping, to help them concentrate. Lou Dobbs is reportedly a big fan, while Bill O'Reilly does not partake. The hellfire burning in his belly is eternal, and does not need replenishment.
1)We formed a think tank to solve the problem of global warming, but thought it might be more fun to take our Escalades and Hummers out for a spin around the capitol building.
2)Before they prepared my frontal cortex for the think tank, the procedure was explained to me. They remove the areas of critical thinking, and leave only rage and the speech centers. I didn't mind, as these areas had atrophied years ago. Lip-smackin' good!
by Pantaloon January 16, 2008
A form of torture created by Pontius Pilate, the man who crucified the savior. It's not as easy as you might think. St. Paul was certified in Pilates and Advanced Spin. The original 12 wanted to emphasize diet (bread, wine, omega 3s from fish oil, etc.) This caused quite a schism as you might imagine. This went on for awhile, until the Serfing craze caught on with the Barbarian invasion of Ringo, George, Cedric, and Dagobert.
After the crucifixion,a lot of fitness buffs tried to jump on the band wagon so Pilate was forced opened a gym (Pilates Fitness, inc.) at the local coliseum and hire some trainers. The gold members were given the "Martyr" card.
by Pantaloon January 17, 2008
an automobile made by Renault.
They rented a piece of Euro Trash, that managed to carry them around the country, but pressing half the buttons only caused things like mirrors and door handles to fall off.
by Pantaloon January 09, 2008
1)verb-to kiss with mouth open wider than person being kissed, resulting in saliva coating the entire mouthel region (including mustache and beard area, and possibly ear,nose and throat)
2)The shiny surfaces wetted as a result of being "nowskied."
1)She leaned forward and opened her mouth wide to nowski me. I could see the contents of her stomach because happened to be wearing my spelunking helmut.
2)When they left the closet after their "seven minutes in heaven," the nowski was clear from the sheen around her lips and chin.
by Pantaloon January 06, 2008
Something or someone associated in some way with feces.
Overheard at the Senate hearings-
Senator McCain: "General Petraeus, What is your opinion on the Fecal Matter?"
General Petraeus: "Sir? You are referring to the situation in Iraq, sir?"
McCain: "What? What in God's name are you talking about?"
Petraeus: "You were asking me about the bad situation we are in with Iraq?"
McCain:"What the hell? No I wasn't, you nincompoop! I just shit myself. I'm 70 years old, and it seems to happen more and more at these damnable hearings. I just thought you might like the interesting design it made on my trousers."
Petraeus: "I'm not prepared to comment on that at this point in time, sir"
McCain: "Very good, Petraeus. That will be all... Where the hell is my nurse?"
by Pantaloon January 30, 2008

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