A magic incantation that makes a giant, painful shit come out when you say it. If the pain of a dump is so heinous it makes you pull a face like Renee Zellweger, speaking her name is the only way to guarantee it's safe passage.
When spoken properly it sounds like this "RRRRRRRRRReneeezellwegAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH....."
When spoken properly it sounds like this "RRRRRRRRRReneeezellwegAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH....."
by Mr. Cardboard January 27, 2012
Get the Renee Zellwegermug. 1) Taking mind altering substances right before a wordy exam that requires you to express an opinion - such as philosophy or english literature, enhancing your ability to plumb the depths of the mind and/or lowering your inhibitions enough to say what you really think, whilst either enhancing or diminishing your ability to actually write it down.
2) Letting your mate be the first to sample the latest batch of drugs you have acquired, by pretending that you have all already taken some and the effects are really good, whereas in fact you suspect you have just been sold half a kilo of caustic soda.
3) A test performed by people in authority who are too scared to take drugs, in order to see if any of their employees are actually any fun outside of work.
2) Letting your mate be the first to sample the latest batch of drugs you have acquired, by pretending that you have all already taken some and the effects are really good, whereas in fact you suspect you have just been sold half a kilo of caustic soda.
3) A test performed by people in authority who are too scared to take drugs, in order to see if any of their employees are actually any fun outside of work.
1) I can't believe I got an A in religious studies, I scored some bud an hour before the exam and had a sly toke to keep me calm but it just made me so much more able to refute things eloquently.
2) Dave! Long time no see, fancy a line? This is great stuff man I've been on it for weeks.
3) "All employees will have a drug test on Monday"
"Um, I'm the regional manager, have never had a bad review, got promoted twice last year and brought in 6 new accounts this month already. And I take drugs. My team are the most useless bunch of monkeys who ever came down from the trees and none of them take drugs. What exactly is the point of this test?"
"All employees will have a drug test on Monday"
2) Dave! Long time no see, fancy a line? This is great stuff man I've been on it for weeks.
3) "All employees will have a drug test on Monday"
"Um, I'm the regional manager, have never had a bad review, got promoted twice last year and brought in 6 new accounts this month already. And I take drugs. My team are the most useless bunch of monkeys who ever came down from the trees and none of them take drugs. What exactly is the point of this test?"
"All employees will have a drug test on Monday"
by Mr. Cardboard October 30, 2011
Get the drug testmug. Suffix meaning "to steal", generally applied to a vehicle or situation. Originates from the word hijack but bastardised for comic effect.
Dude 1: I was gonna go for a crap but someone's running a bath.
Dude 2: You should have jacked it.
Dude 1: Bathjacking?
Dude 2: You should have jacked it.
Dude 1: Bathjacking?
by Mr. Cardboard November 06, 2011
Get the jackmug. by Mr. Cardboard July 05, 2012
Get the Jacksonsmug. A woman who maks highly questionable noises during sex, such that it sounds as if you are just pressing the sound effect buttons on a keyboard rather than pleasuring her.
*ooh-ooh-aah-aah*
*woof woof*
*ding dong*
*squelch*
*mmmmooooooo*
*beep-beep*
*dropped cutlery*
*police siren*
*tearing paper*
*helicopter*
*meow*
*baby laugh*
etc.
Dude 1: Do you think she's faking?
Dude 2: Nah, she's just a sex keyboard
*woof woof*
*ding dong*
*squelch*
*mmmmooooooo*
*beep-beep*
*dropped cutlery*
*police siren*
*tearing paper*
*helicopter*
*meow*
*baby laugh*
etc.
Dude 1: Do you think she's faking?
Dude 2: Nah, she's just a sex keyboard
by Mr. Cardboard November 08, 2011
Get the sex keyboardmug. Untidy skin/flesh emanating from the ringpiece, giving it the appearance of chewed bacon. Usually as a result of overly aggressive anal sex but can equally be caused by prolapse or even be congenital.
Lord Asquith met Lady Jane at the Spring ball, and after months of wooing he finally came to court her. In time they were married and there was much rejoicing throughout the land. Alas on their wedding night he discovered she had anal bacon, rendering him impotent. He obtained an anullment later that week.
by Mr. Cardboard July 24, 2012
Get the anal baconmug. An all-girls highschool.
by Mr. Cardboard November 06, 2011
Get the Virgin Megastoremug.