5 definitions by Mister Jack Fister

Top Definition
Ruined orgasm is when a broad slowly cock teases you to the point of orgasm and stops just before you cum leaving your cock throbbing. She does this over and over until your balls ache and you’re going insane for sexual relief, then when she is finally ready for the ruined orgasm. She brings you to the edge again only this time just as you are expecting the onset of a tremendously huge orgasm, your balls are tightening up, all she needs to do is stroke up and you’re Cumming!! Instead she lets go of your cock and you feel an unspeakable pain in your balls that only a man knows because at the point of orgasm instead of that last stroke up, she grabbed your balls and squeezes as hard as she possible can, totally stopping your orgasm, maybe leaving you dribbling a little cum, but either way your both sitting there watching your dick get soft as you’re left suffering from lack of release and with a severe case of blue balls!!!

True story:

Me: Last night this broad left me with a ruined orgasm.
Man did my balls ache afterwards!

Reed: What’s a ruined orgasm?

Me: Well, I thought I was get a long, slow handjob, bu the cockteaser kept stopping right before I came. Man my balls were aching, when finally when I thought I was finally going to cum, at the last second the broad seized my balls and squeezed hard!! I lost my hard-on and not a drop of sperm came out. My BLUE BALLS were aching. All because I wouldn’t go down on her.

Reed: Well, I’m sure that your used to blue balls, Jerk-Off!!!

This really happened, men beware!
by Mister Jack Fister September 23, 2006
A jack-off magazine full of naked broads that a sexually frustrated male uses to jerk-off onto since he can’t spread his seed, resulting in cum stained canvas and glued pages.
My cockteasing girlfriend left me with blue balls last night, so I pulled out my favorite magazine of cum canvases and jerk-off a huge load all over some broad’s tits.
by Mister jack Fister October 09, 2007
to jack-off

to stroke your cock until it squirts.

jerking off with lube
i pulled out my favorite stroke book as i was greasing the flagpole.

Nate: i caught Jack greasing the flagpole. ha ha!!!

Phil: yeah, Jack likes greasing the flagpole, i caught him too! The jerk-off!!
by Mister jack Fister October 23, 2007
1. When a male strokes his penis up and down, slow at first but soon speeds up until he shoots his load. Normally onto a stroke book

2. A male getting himself off with his own hand

3. To jack-off, jerk-off or beat your meat.
1. While looking at my favorite jerk-off magazine, I played five card draw with handful-of-jacks.

2. I played five card draw with a handful-of-jacks all over my keyboard again.

3. After getting cock blocked at the bar by Mr. Jock, I once again went home and played five card draw with a handful-of-jacks.
by Mister jack Fister November 27, 2007
The thick gluey line of sperm that is shot out of a man cock on to his cum canvas

To make a line of semen on your “Jerk-Off” magazine gluing the pages together.
I jerked off shooting my load onto my new stroke book and created a huge cum line on it across the broad’s tits.
by Mister jack Fister January 25, 2008

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