Mark Shackelford's definitions

eggslax

The sudden, involuntary, rapid emptying of one's bowels after eating too many eggs.

<egg eater> I'm about to bingo stamp my underwear in a very big way if I don't find a restroom.
<meat eater> Was it something you ate?
<grain eater> He's got a bad case of eggslax!

by Mark Shackelford May 31, 2007

anal tissue

A soft tissue on a roll engineered primarily for wiping feces off a person's anus. It is also frequently substituted for facial tissue.

<wife> How did your day go?
<hubby> Not good.
<wife> What happened?
<hubby> I took a dump at work before I realized we were out of anal tissue.
<wife> That's terrible. So what did you do?
<hubby> I used my undershirt.

by Mark Shackelford June 4, 2007

FAR Tea

Federal Aviation Regulations that are being read at night as a remedy for insomnia.

When I can't sleep I just have a little bit of FAR tea and I'm out in minutes.

by Mark Shackelford May 7, 2007

lung dung

Cigarette smoke byproducts that accumulate in the lungs of smokers.

<doctor> You've got quite a bit of lung dung buildup on both sides. The only advice I have is to quit smoking.
<smoking advocate> No way! That would be infringing on my civil rights.

by Mark Shackelford August 1, 2007

car warts

Nonfunctional, external car accessories that appear to be performance modifications but actually diminish aerodynamics and add dead weight to the vehicle.

<poser> I've got fake dual exhaust with chrome tips, a dummy hood scoop, an artificial slant antenna and nonfunctional side vents. Anything else I can do to impress the women?

<tuner> Yeah, get rid of all those car warts and get a personality!

by Mark Shackelford July 30, 2007

enchihuahua

An enchilada made with dog meat.

I'll take the enchihuahua platter with verde sauce and double rice instead of beans.

by Mark Shackelford September 16, 2007

Obi Wan Baloney

Someone who speaks of something they know nothing about as if they were a Jedi Master.

<Obi Wan Baloney> You should be careful when doing barrel rolls - it could disturb the yeast.
<Chuck Yeager> Thanks, I'm trying to reduce my bread intake anyway.

by Mark Shackelford November 19, 2007