Mark Shackelford's definitions

unethnical

When people of a distinct race and culture break away from the customs and traditions that define their ancestry.

<Abuelo> Come on kids, let's get ready for the Cinco de Mayo parade.
<Pepito> Oh, Abuelo! We won free NASCAR tickets for the race today. Can we postpone it til tomorrow.
<Abuelo> NASCAR over Cinco de Mayo?! That's unethnical!

by Mark Shackelford June 27, 2007

new guitar smell

The fragrance or odor you get when you first open the case of a new guitar. Only happens with custom built guitars that are recieved within a few days of manufacturing.

<Employee 1> Take a look at my new Carvin CT4M!
<employee 2> Whoa! It's still got new guitar smell!

by Mark Shackelford May 27, 2007

holysexual

Men and women who completely abstain from even the hint of sex until married and only have sex with their spouse in obedience to the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

<pastor> I didn't even kiss my wife until we were married. On our honeymoon, it was about a two hour drive to our hotel after the flight. I was doing all I could to contain myself. We finally arrived and what happened after that is none of your business.
<teenager> Were you asexual or something?
<pastor> No, I am a holysexual.

by Mark Shackelford June 1, 2007

Jeep

A term used to loosely describe your SUV when trying to act like you're so full of life that you don't even know what you really drive.

<customer> I need a part for my Mitsubishi Jeep.
<parts man> Is that a Mitsubishi or a Jeep?
<customer> It's a Mitsubishi.
<parts man> What model Mitsubishi?
<customer> A Jeep.
<parts man> Alright, is that a Wrangler, Cherokee or Grand Cherokee?
<customer> No, it's a Mitsubishi.
<parts man> What kind of Mitsubishi?
<customer> A Mitsubishi Jeep.
<parts man> Do you have the VIN?
<customer> No, I don't.

by Mark Shackelford May 31, 2007

FAR Tea

Federal Aviation Regulations that are being read at night as a remedy for insomnia.

When I can't sleep I just have a little bit of FAR tea and I'm out in minutes.

by Mark Shackelford May 7, 2007

captain crash

To 'go down with the ship' when crashing a bicycle, skateboard, tricycle, etc.

My little boy captain crashed his trike but did all he could to land the jump.

by Mark Shackelford June 11, 2007

bronunciate

To mispronounce words like people of African descent.

<person1> Old Dewey said he's going to eat some strimps tonite. Did he really mean shrimp?
<person2> Yes, that's just the way he bronunciates it.

by Mark Shackelford June 25, 2007