Malcolm X-crement's definitions

fart

1. Noun: A flatus, expelled through the anus.
2: Verb: The act of expelling flatuses through the anus, usually fouling the surrounding air with a strong objectionable stench while producing a commical noise.
3: A contemptable or stupid person.

1. That fart that I just cut really smells good!
2. Open the window, I have to fart!
3. Mr. Crustybaum is such an old fart!

by Malcolm X-crement October 15, 2006

Schvatze

A term often used by Jews to describe a person with dark brown skin, huge lips and knappy hair; a Junglebunny.

Oy, Murray! Don't run over those schvatzes!

by Malcolm X-crement November 17, 2003

guano

1. Avian fecal matter. In the 18th and 19th centuries, the North American Guano Company would send ships to south-Pacific islands to harvest the guan, which was used as fertilizer. (seriously!)

2. Bad news or something unpleasant and unflattering.

1. We used to have to import our <i>guano</i> from Mocronesia, but today we produce so much bullshit in Washington, that we no longer need the bird shit!

2. Wendy really dumped a load of <i>guano</i> on me when she said we were breaking up!

by Malcolm X-crement November 16, 2003

Disturbed

1. Short for "mentally disturbed"- a psychotic, retarded or very stupid person- or a person who acts that way.

2. What you get when someone interrupts you during a session of masturbation.

1. People who listen to heavey-metal music are disturbed!

2. I walked in on Paul when he was choking his chicken and disturbed him.

by Malcolm X-crement December 6, 2003

Kegel

An alternate term for bowling- according to the noted linguistic expert, Fred Flintstone.

Hey Barn, care to go kegeling?

by Malcolm X-crement October 17, 2006

Perfect Woman

Creature, much like Santa Claus, The Easter Bunny, Sasquatch and the Good Nigger- often spoken of, but one has never actually been seen by a reputable witness.

I met the perfect woman last night, just before I sailed my yacht back to my mansion.....yeah...that's the ticket!

by Malcolm X-crement January 5, 2004

quiet you

A term popularized in a cartoon from the 60's that starred a genius dog named Mr. Peabody. It was his trademeark phrase, often said to the child (whose name was Sherman) whom he would always be explaining history or science to (with his own unusual twist of course). Sherman would retort with a smart remark, to which Mr. Peabody would reply "Quiet, you!".

Sherman: "So you might say, it was a real Pow-wow."
Mr. Peabody: "Quiet, you!"

by Malcolm X-crement December 21, 2003