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4 definitions by MPCmonkey

 
1.
A horrific abomination of a human being. Became famous for being as thick as, and uglier than, pigshit after appearing on Big Brother. Has now bred. Unfortunately this means that her genes will continue to pollute our fragile and precious genepool until her and all within 3 family steps of her can be eradicated.
"Shit man, Jade Goody has had a baby. That means another of her chav-scum kind is breathing my fucking oxygen. WHEN WILL IT EVER END!!!?"
by MPCmonkey March 16, 2005
 
2.
Could be considered to be a concept or perhaps an illness or condition.

It is important to distinguish between someone who is just famous and someone who is a celebrity however, the two are not mutually exclusive. Someone who is famous is merely well-known whereas a celebrity is someone who engages in celebrity behaviour, for example, appearing in “Celebrity” magazines such as OK and Hello in pictures designed to show how fabulously wealthy/good looking they are; appearing in magazines under such articles titles as “How I lost 50 pounds in 4 days!” or “How I overcame some kind of heartbreak!” like any evolved, thinking person gives a shit. For Christ’s sake, how insecure are these people.

Celebrities are confused. They have lost sight of what important in life i.e. spiritual fulfilment and well being of all people, and now cling to their own celebrity status as though it is that which keeps them alive. It has become the sickly sweet teat from which they must be constantly nourished in order to feel like a functioning member of society whereas in fact they are a plague on the society they crave acceptance from or a feeling of belonging to. We would all be better off if they just went away.

Theirs is indeed a cruel fate: their status suggests to them importance and acceptance yet they are simply one of too many soulless ciphers existing in some kind of sub-human circle of self-perpetuating self-promotion.
Posh Spice: a celebrity so helplessly self-absorbed that her own promotion is all she has left.

J-Lo: The one human being in the world upon which I would gladly wish death.

To name but two from an endless list consisting of unmitigated sewage constantly poluting our precious, precious world with their own bile.
by MPCmonkey February 09, 2006
 
3.
1) A term used to describe the act of cruising a red light district without any intention of actually picking up a whore, you just drive around and look at those skanky assed hookers and laugh at the state of them and wonder what on earth could possess someone to pay for that kind of shit.

You may also chose to drive at the kind of speed that makes them think that you may be in the market, watch them start to approach you car and speed off. Laughing.

2) The act of showing someone around a local red light district so they may see what kind of merchandise is on offer. This is particularly useful when you have lonely relatives in from out of town.
1) Dude A: "Shit dude, I'm bored. Let's go on a whore-tour and laugh at some skanky assed bitches."

Dude B: "Okay dude, roll up a fat one and let's go."

Dude A: "Hell yeah!"

2) Dude C: "And this is where you can come if you're feeling a bit lonely while I'm on my nightshift tonight as you're in from out of town and a bit of a sad, lonely old bastard."

Dude D: "Excellent. May I borrow your car later if I drop you at you place of employment?"

Dude C: " No fucking way, man!!"
by MPCmonkey June 01, 2006
 
4.
A person who manages to get away with not doing something by way of talking their way out of it, or by just going on and on and on until someone else does it or you just give up and do it yourself or by the time they've finished it doesn't need doing any more.
Man, I asked Mark to go and serve that customer and he just started fucking talking about something else and wouldn't shut up. By the time he'd finished Paul had stepped in served them. What a blaggard!
by MPCmonkey October 30, 2004