Kooyle's definitions

thesis

a dick that college seniors must take to graduate

God, she took that thesis so hard.

by Kooyle April 25, 2020

mic drop

an asian dudebro geography major writing about his meaning of place in America

Must be nice to be able to rope-a-dope for 22 years and still pull off that K.O. All of this fucking trouble for a single mic drop. Goddamn.

by Kooyle April 27, 2020

earth

A house where you're held hostage by 8 billion gay and retarded roommates.

Living on earth sucks but I can't afford a house in the afterlife.

by Kooyle January 21, 2024

post-globalism

An age when everybody's secrets are out because of the Internet and everybody is free to act on that information at will.

Man post-globalism sucks. Everybody's trying to be and look perfect to everybody else when nobody is. The main thing is to learn to be better and try again. It's just beginning!

by Kooyle December 7, 2022

history

a chronicle written by the winners of a conflict documenting the many ways why it's justified what the losers got

It's only a war crime if you lose, history should make that clear.
Seeing as she dumped him for playing too much Halo and smoking all her weed, he felt that they had too much history between them for a constructive professional relationship.

by Kooyle April 13, 2021

love

The biochemical reaction that causes one's emotions to go "I live for you and I hope you do the same for me" towards another.

The fatal flaw in the logic of romantic love is that it doesn't really matter what's on the inside if one can't get past a first look. Attraction isn't mystical, it's chemistry!

by Kooyle June 3, 2022

democracy

Whatever ideologies and policies the United States and her allies enforce and incentivize abroad. This is always a source of butthurt for the targets of the campaigns to spread it.

The people of Afghanistan and Iraq were suffering from a lack of democracy, so the generous government of the United States, suffering from an overabundance of it, dropped over 9000 bombs on them and then sent their kind soldiers in to personally hand it to the citizens of the two troubled countries. Look how well they are doing now!

by Kooyle March 28, 2023