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1 definition by Houstonator

 
1.
America's most rundown city. Just driving from either Bush International or Houston Hobby airports reveals the truth that while this a business town, she is one ugly skank. Residents are uneducated and thuggish, for the most part. Even the most upscale mall, the Galleria, is geared towards people who can't afford to shop there. Nightlife? What nightlife? Just because you slap a sign on a tired-looking building doesn't make it upscale. Washington Ave? Ghetto fabulous. Rice Village? Ugly strip malls backed up to each other. Montrose? This is an embarrassment for anyone who identifies as gay. What a complete mess and dump.

Poor Houstonians try so hard to lumped together with NYC, Chicago and LA, but fail miserably. Houston is the forgotten red-headed step child who is ignored and ridiculed behind her back. She's fat (fattest city in US), she's uneducated (low number of residents with college degrees), she's ugly (just drive around and you'll agree), she's flat (not a hill in sight). Did I mention she's violent, too? Look at the crime stats.

The only reason to visit this place is to see your aging Grandma Maria or just to change planes onto a much better destination. Nothing comes out of Houston except a bunch of hot air. Please stop telling me that you can get cuisine from any country. The same can be said about any city in America.

Official motto of city? Houston - It's embarrassingly cheap for a reason...come see why
Houstonian: Hi, I'm Juan and I'm from Houston.

Person 2: Really? That place is boring dump of a city.

Houstonian: We have the second most Fortune 500 companies in the country.

Person 2: Gee, where do I sign up?
by Houstonator January 16, 2012