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HMB 's definitions

epismosis

1. A biological process by which information is passively absorbed, in a matter similar to osmosis, from episodes on TV or radio. Usually happens when you are focussing on doing something else while somebody in the same room is viewing or listening to the media. This can lead to false associations.

2. A sociological process whereby knowledge or behavior is transferred through occurrences that are regular and can be tracked over time. This can include: routine noisy arguments from the family living across the street, shouted tactical instructions from the beergut living next door each time there's an American football game on TV, and finding out that the various counts of first-degree homicide and cannibalism that your janitor stands accused of in routine police raids on his utility room.
1.
Fnor: Do you watch Scrubs, HMB?
HMB: Not really. I've followed some of the plot through epismosis, but usually while downloading Sylvia Saint multimedia. Wasn't there one time that Zach Braff rides the Sybian?
Fnor: No.

2. Hague inspector: We deduce the victim to have expired after involuntary respiratory constriction at about 4 a.m. last night. We suspect epismosis of the General Secretary's late-night physical trysts with his administrative assistant in a nearby office may have caused a displacement of the victim's sexual energy as he slept, resulting in a lung erection that would prove fatal. However, investigators have not ruled out the possibility of poisoning. (Lead Inspector Franconi's confidential report following the death of former Serbian leader Slobodan Milosevich.)
by HMB May 18, 2006
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butt mining

1. The act of routinely coming up with ideas on the spot, especially when under pressure or with a high penalty for failure. This derives from the vaunted ability of journalists and reporters to generate news story ideas with unexpected or novel angles. This term is a logical progression from the phrase "to pull an idea out of my ass". Used as a positive term of praise, a "butt miner" is somebody who is very good at thinking of new ways to cover old stories, or of new stories that nobody else has thought of before.
2. This could also conceivably be a term for a sodomite (or possibly a proctologist) or anybody else who spends a fair amount of time in a butt. But I've never heard this term used that way.
1.
Reporter: "Hey, I have an idea. Instead of just covering Chinese New Year at the restaurants, why don't we cover the plight of the Chinese staff at the restaurants, who have to work the festival and who can't go home to their families in China?"
Editor: "That is a compelling idea with a human angle, and a novel way of covering a routine annual event. A sterling display of vintage butt mining. Good job!"

2.
Reporter: "I love Katie Couric. I really admire her bravery in having her own colonoscopy broadcast on TV."
Reporter: "Aye. That's a sterling display of vintage butt mining, no doubt."
by HMB May 22, 2006
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stand them cheap

Chinese slang.

The act of taking advantage of somebody else, especially in financial matters, although not always. Somebody who routinely eats lunch with you but always lets you pay for it is standing you cheap.

Likewise, somebody who makes friends with you just to be around your friends is also standing you cheap.

Sometimes even doing something that's rude or disagreeable to somebody else while profiting from it is also considered standing them cheap.

The original Mandarin Chinese for this is "Zhan ... pianyi" ("stand ... cheap") with the victim pronoun appearing between the words.
1.
HMB: I bought a subscripton to the Wall St. Journal using my credit card. Then I realized that with those extra credit card reward points, I qualified for a free subscription to the Wall St. Journal. So I canceled my subscription and got a free subscription and a refund instead.

HDT: Wow, if Wall St. Journal had a cheap on which one could stand, you definitely managed to stand them cheap.

2.

Taiwanese president Chen Shui Bian: TMD! Xiao Bush zongtong, neige wangbadan, burang wo de feiji zai Seattle jiangluo!

Chinese president Hu Jintao: LOL - haiyou ROFLMAO. Ta buyuanyi weixie womende shuangbian maoyi shounaohuiyi! Kan qilai haoxiang wo zhan ni pianyi!

(CSB: Goddammit, that bastard President Bush Jr. refused me permission to land at Seattle!

HJT: LOL, also ROFLMAO. He is unwilling to risk our bilateral trade summit meeting. It seems very likely that I have stood you cheap!)
by HMB August 30, 2008
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ghrabub

A faux-Arabic term, used jokingly, to refer to the act of manually manipulating a woman's breast(s). Often spoken fondly during petting in bed or in cars. If used as part of bondage, or done to an attractive woman, can be called "Ghrabub-Baib" after the infamous Iraqi prison.
HMB: "Greetings, madam, from Ghrabub."
Woman: "Hey! You just grabbed my boob!"
HMB: "A thousand apologies. Allow me to introduce the ambassador of Ghrabass instead."
by HMB May 9, 2006
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fauxthority

1. An adjudicating person or body that is spuriously invoked in order to win an argument or discussion, especially where no such body actually exists.

2. An air of supreme knowledgeability and pretentiosity, projected by a person who will speak at length and with great opinion, on topics of which he or she actually has only a passing grasp at best.
(In this example, both HMB and DrB are using fauxthoritative arguments, and both are displaying fauxthority.)

HMB: Sylvia Saint's finest asset is her bottom.
DrB: You lie. It's her breasts.
HMB: Surely not. For breasts, q.v. Brianna Banks, Asia Carrera, et al. Theirs are much larger.
DrB: Your argument hinges on the theory that quantity is preferable to quality. In defence of the alternative view, Sylvia Saint is entirely natural, as can be deduced when viewing her in the reclining attitude.
HMB: Be that as it may, her breasts are much smaller, at most 0.94 British Standard Handfuls. By comparison, Asia Carrera weighs in at a hefty 2.09 BSH.
DrB: Yes, but is it not spoken in the Book of Erogenis that "Reckon thee the food in thy bowl the same as thou wouldst reckon the tits on thy concubines: that any more than a mouthful will be wasted?"

(Discussion continues as both speakers get to indulge their vanities in this verbal equivalent of public masturbation.)
by HMB August 19, 2006
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da feiji

Chinese slang for a handjob applied to a male, not necessarily by himself. Applies equally well to solo masturbation, or to masturbation by another.

Literally means "hit plane", although the lack of articles in Mandarin Chinese may cause some confusion.
1. "Neige xiaojie hen lihai o! Zuotian wanshang ta gei wo da guo liangci feiji, hai you gei wo koujiao. Zhende meixiangdao!"

Translation: "That singsong girl is amazing! Last night she jerked me off twice, and then gave me head. Unbelievable."

2. "Ben La Din hen lihai o! Wu nian qian, ta zhiyao da feiji liangci, jiu neng yinqi Meiguo-Afuhan dazhan. Zhende meixiangdao!"

Translation: "Osama bin Laden is terrible! Five years ago all he did was hit two planes, and that caused the U.S. war in Afghanistan. Unbelievable."
by HMB September 16, 2006
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nuffle

An endearing act of intimacy or light petting. When you gently rub your nose against the cheeks of another person, that is called a "nuffle". Also known as an Eskimo Kiss, this is a non-sexual, affectionate gesture that you can do to a lover, or a family member.
HMB: Is it polite to keep your eyes open when you nuffle?

AC: Sure, why not? Nuffling isn't like kissing. It's just like a hug. Except you use your face.

HMB: Okay. *nuffles AC*

AC: Awww...gemes! ^_^
by HMB September 22, 2006
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