1. An adjudicating person or body that is spuriously invoked in order to win an argument or discussion, especially where no such body actually exists.
2. An air of supreme knowledgeability and pretentiosity, projected by a person who will speak at length and with great opinion, on topics of which he or she actually has only a passing grasp at best.
2. An air of supreme knowledgeability and pretentiosity, projected by a person who will speak at length and with great opinion, on topics of which he or she actually has only a passing grasp at best.
(In this example, both HMB and DrB are using fauxthoritative arguments, and both are displaying fauxthority.)
HMB: Sylvia Saint's finest asset is her bottom.
DrB: You lie. It's her breasts.
HMB: Surely not. For breasts, q.v. Brianna Banks, Asia Carrera, et al. Theirs are much larger.
DrB: Your argument hinges on the theory that quantity is preferable to quality. In defence of the alternative view, Sylvia Saint is entirely natural, as can be deduced when viewing her in the reclining attitude.
HMB: Be that as it may, her breasts are much smaller, at most 0.94 British Standard Handfuls. By comparison, Asia Carrera weighs in at a hefty 2.09 BSH.
DrB: Yes, but is it not spoken in the Book of Erogenis that "Reckon thee the food in thy bowl the same as thou wouldst reckon the tits on thy concubines: that any more than a mouthful will be wasted?"
(Discussion continues as both speakers get to indulge their vanities in this verbal equivalent of public masturbation.)
HMB: Sylvia Saint's finest asset is her bottom.
DrB: You lie. It's her breasts.
HMB: Surely not. For breasts, q.v. Brianna Banks, Asia Carrera, et al. Theirs are much larger.
DrB: Your argument hinges on the theory that quantity is preferable to quality. In defence of the alternative view, Sylvia Saint is entirely natural, as can be deduced when viewing her in the reclining attitude.
HMB: Be that as it may, her breasts are much smaller, at most 0.94 British Standard Handfuls. By comparison, Asia Carrera weighs in at a hefty 2.09 BSH.
DrB: Yes, but is it not spoken in the Book of Erogenis that "Reckon thee the food in thy bowl the same as thou wouldst reckon the tits on thy concubines: that any more than a mouthful will be wasted?"
(Discussion continues as both speakers get to indulge their vanities in this verbal equivalent of public masturbation.)
by HMB August 19, 2006
Get the fauxthoritymug. 1. Territorial Missile Defence. The deployment of anti-missile interceptors and detectors to render a small territory (eg an island democracy) safe from missile attack by a continental adversary (eg a mainland dictatorship). This term is largely used to describe hotspots like Taiwan, Israel, and downtown LA.
2. A virulent Chinese curse, as per WMD and NMD. This is usually used of a thing or person in the third person. The meaning is somewhat akin to "that jerk" or "this useless piece of crap". Literally it means "of its/his/her mother".
2. A virulent Chinese curse, as per WMD and NMD. This is usually used of a thing or person in the third person. The meaning is somewhat akin to "that jerk" or "this useless piece of crap". Literally it means "of its/his/her mother".
1. President Bush: "China is a strategic competitor and we will sell Taiwan submarines and anti-missile defences and advanced naval technologies but China is our ally in the war against terror so we will not supply anything that would disturb the status quo and we support the One China policy and the Taiwanese people should be entitled to hold their own elections without military response from the mainland and could you please stop selling such cheap bras and panties please? We'll promise not to sell Taiwan a TMD if you do."
2. Chinese President Hu Jintao: "WTF is Bush talking about?"
Taiwanese President Chen Shui-Bian: "Dude, I don't know. TMD."
Chinese President Hu Jintao: "Damn straight. TMD. Nice spliff, BTW."
Taiwanese President Chen Shui-bian: "Thx."
2. Chinese President Hu Jintao: "WTF is Bush talking about?"
Taiwanese President Chen Shui-Bian: "Dude, I don't know. TMD."
Chinese President Hu Jintao: "Damn straight. TMD. Nice spliff, BTW."
Taiwanese President Chen Shui-bian: "Thx."
by HMB March 12, 2004
Get the TMDmug. This describes the phenomenon that people sitting in a plane will get smellier and more repulwsive than people doing a similar amount of sitting at home or at work. Regardless of how short or long your flight is, merely being seated in an airplane means your ass will stink, for several reasons.
Firstly the air pressure differential after take off means that air pockets of intestinal gas will be higher pressure and more likely to force themselves out of your chocolate barking spider.
Secondly, consider the smell of every other traveller that has sat in the same seat, warming the same cushion with the same intestinal gases and sweat, and dealing with the everpresent background noise and stress of air travel, while a crappy movie plays on a screen too small to see and which is blocked anyway by other passengers getting up, sitting down, or just hanging like douchebag fuckwits in the aisle talking to their colleagues because they think that air travel is FUN.
Meanwhile the stewardesses are busy standing in the rear gantry leaning against the snack boxes (which now cost $5 extra each just to buy) with their legs open and their panties around one ankle getting shagged from behind by the stewards, and the pilots are busy smoking weed as the airport handlers break the locks on your luggage down below to steal your souvenirs and computers, under broad security rights bestowed by the TSA federal agency while the lone fat greasy headed steward who can't get any female flight attendant to part her Pink Sea for him is taking out his frustrations by forcing people to move out of Economy-Plus seating (which costs you $75 more at the check-in counter than regular Economy for an extra 5 cm. of legroom) regardless of the fact that once the plane takes off the people will just fucking move back in because airport security can't board a moving plane, fuckwits.
This combination of low air pressure, substandard treatment, and superstandard psychological pressure results in larger than usual pockets of intestinal gas forcing themselves out of your anus and warming the fabric around your fundament.
This also means that ANY TIME A PASSENGER GETS OUT OF THEIR SEAT, their ass comes up to the same level as the seated passengers' faces. This is especially notable when the first over-caffeinated passenger jumps out of his seat at the end of a flight to grab his carry on luggage so he can be the first to wait in a completely stationary line to disembark, and you're still seated, and his ass wafts a foul stench your way that makes your eyes water.
Possibly a contributing factor to air rage.
Firstly the air pressure differential after take off means that air pockets of intestinal gas will be higher pressure and more likely to force themselves out of your chocolate barking spider.
Secondly, consider the smell of every other traveller that has sat in the same seat, warming the same cushion with the same intestinal gases and sweat, and dealing with the everpresent background noise and stress of air travel, while a crappy movie plays on a screen too small to see and which is blocked anyway by other passengers getting up, sitting down, or just hanging like douchebag fuckwits in the aisle talking to their colleagues because they think that air travel is FUN.
Meanwhile the stewardesses are busy standing in the rear gantry leaning against the snack boxes (which now cost $5 extra each just to buy) with their legs open and their panties around one ankle getting shagged from behind by the stewards, and the pilots are busy smoking weed as the airport handlers break the locks on your luggage down below to steal your souvenirs and computers, under broad security rights bestowed by the TSA federal agency while the lone fat greasy headed steward who can't get any female flight attendant to part her Pink Sea for him is taking out his frustrations by forcing people to move out of Economy-Plus seating (which costs you $75 more at the check-in counter than regular Economy for an extra 5 cm. of legroom) regardless of the fact that once the plane takes off the people will just fucking move back in because airport security can't board a moving plane, fuckwits.
This combination of low air pressure, substandard treatment, and superstandard psychological pressure results in larger than usual pockets of intestinal gas forcing themselves out of your anus and warming the fabric around your fundament.
This also means that ANY TIME A PASSENGER GETS OUT OF THEIR SEAT, their ass comes up to the same level as the seated passengers' faces. This is especially notable when the first over-caffeinated passenger jumps out of his seat at the end of a flight to grab his carry on luggage so he can be the first to wait in a completely stationary line to disembark, and you're still seated, and his ass wafts a foul stench your way that makes your eyes water.
Possibly a contributing factor to air rage.
16-B: What do you think of that chick in 14-D?
16-C: Hmm. Looks kinda tired.
16-B: She's got a sweet ass. And I think I saw her get into the toilets with a pink dildo. I think I'm gonna jerk off on her face.
16-C: Yeah, but she walked past me just now and I got a faceful of grade-A fetid rancid eyewatering airplane ass.
16-B: Eurgh. Okay. Never mind. (goes back to doing crossword puzzle)
16-C: Hmm. Looks kinda tired.
16-B: She's got a sweet ass. And I think I saw her get into the toilets with a pink dildo. I think I'm gonna jerk off on her face.
16-C: Yeah, but she walked past me just now and I got a faceful of grade-A fetid rancid eyewatering airplane ass.
16-B: Eurgh. Okay. Never mind. (goes back to doing crossword puzzle)
by HMB January 13, 2007
Get the airplane assmug. 1. The rate at which new employees vacate a given job or company, based on dissatisfaction with bad work conditions.
2. The rate at which a person's previous meal vacates his or her stomach, based on the intensity of their vomitting.
3. The rate at which a man's semen vacates his testicles, prostate, and Cowper's glands, based on the intensity of masturbation.
2. The rate at which a person's previous meal vacates his or her stomach, based on the intensity of their vomitting.
3. The rate at which a man's semen vacates his testicles, prostate, and Cowper's glands, based on the intensity of masturbation.
All: Yale's MBA program postulates the "Churn Rate Paradigm" as:
Client's churn rate = k(worker's stomach churn rate) = k(new worker's churn rate)
The intervariable relation is proportional and geometric.
1. The new-employee churn rate at my previous job was really high.
2. The work itself was nauseating. I would vomit at least twice a day. On high traffic days, employee stomach churn rate was even higher.
3. It was a mopping job at a sperm bank/peep show/gay brothel (delete as appropriate). For some reason, I always ended up with the highest clientele churn rate. I hated that job. I'm going back to Taco Bell.
Client's churn rate = k(worker's stomach churn rate) = k(new worker's churn rate)
The intervariable relation is proportional and geometric.
1. The new-employee churn rate at my previous job was really high.
2. The work itself was nauseating. I would vomit at least twice a day. On high traffic days, employee stomach churn rate was even higher.
3. It was a mopping job at a sperm bank/peep show/gay brothel (delete as appropriate). For some reason, I always ended up with the highest clientele churn rate. I hated that job. I'm going back to Taco Bell.
by HMB February 10, 2004
Get the churn ratemug. 1. American colloquialism for a President, especially one who favors tax cuts, war with distant countries, and winning elections by exciting hair's breadth margins. Possessor of a lexicon and grammatical system entertaining beyond anything Lewis Carroll has dreamed up.
Many British visitors to the American shores are puzzled by American slang. It is worth remembering that the man they call "President Bush" is essentially the same person that the Brits call "President Cunt" back at home.
by HMB July 30, 2003
Get the George W. Bushmug. A play on the term decepticon. In the prostitution industry, "transformer" means transvestite/transsexual, and "decepticon" means any very convincing transvestite/transsexual.
An "e-cepticon" is an online version, especially a female buddy or penpal whom you have known for many years, and who turns out (despite all evidence to tbe contrary) to actually be male.
An "e-cepticon" is an online version, especially a female buddy or penpal whom you have known for many years, and who turns out (despite all evidence to tbe contrary) to actually be male.
HMB: I've been using this female username on this public game-related bulletin board for five years now, and people are pretty convinced I'm a woman, especially because I update the avatar occasionally with an female friend's picture. But, it's getting harder and harder to talk her into posing for avatar pics these days. I may just have to drop the whole charade and admit she was an e-cepticon.
by HMB April 28, 2005
Get the e-cepticonmug. Masturbating a woman or girl to orgasm. This takes its name from the "flicking" motion of the middle finger when you are using a wheelmouse and trying to scroll down through a lot of text. In masturbation the action is almost exactly the same, except that the mouse wheel is replaced by your lucky lady's clit.
Also, I've noticed that the sound produced is completely different.
A similar computer/sex term is "double clicking on the mouse" which also means female masturbation.
Also, I've noticed that the sound produced is completely different.
A similar computer/sex term is "double clicking on the mouse" which also means female masturbation.
HMB (who is male): So, AC, what did you do all day today?
AC (who is female): You would not believe. I found a kick-ass .zip of photochopped fake Johnny Depp porn. It was a really big file, too. I had to spend almost two hours rolling the mouse wheel just to get through it.
HMB: Dear me. Airing the orchid?
AC: You bet. I got my daily musical practice of playing the upside down piano.
HMB: Feeding oats to the pony?
AC: Tickling the toothless gibbon.
HMB: Typing in the gussets.
AC: Paddling the pink canoe until it leaks.
HMB: Finger painting the ham sandwich.
AC: Stirring the mixing bowl.
HMB: Petting the cat.
AC: Fingering the bald suspect.
HMB: ... So, um, can I borrow that .zip file? ... For, erm, personal reasons...
AC: !
AC (who is female): You would not believe. I found a kick-ass .zip of photochopped fake Johnny Depp porn. It was a really big file, too. I had to spend almost two hours rolling the mouse wheel just to get through it.
HMB: Dear me. Airing the orchid?
AC: You bet. I got my daily musical practice of playing the upside down piano.
HMB: Feeding oats to the pony?
AC: Tickling the toothless gibbon.
HMB: Typing in the gussets.
AC: Paddling the pink canoe until it leaks.
HMB: Finger painting the ham sandwich.
AC: Stirring the mixing bowl.
HMB: Petting the cat.
AC: Fingering the bald suspect.
HMB: ... So, um, can I borrow that .zip file? ... For, erm, personal reasons...
AC: !
by HMB December 09, 2006
Get the rolling the mouse wheelmug.