17 definitions by Frustrated_Monolingual
noun - perpetual motion manager: A manager that ignores all objective evidence to why his department is failing and is motivated only by his own bullshit desire to keep everyone in perpetual motion with pointless tasks and status reports.
Doesn't Joe know that micromanaging Sue only makes her more frustrated and makes her generate inferior work? Instead, Joe says that Sue doesn't care and is lazy. Joe is such a PMM.
by Frustrated_Monolingual March 12, 2010
(n) In law or other industries where time is entered by professionals for billing to clients, the process by which the time is "written down," by owners of the firm to reduce the compensation of the professionals entering the time.
Frequently, this phenomenon is accompanied by the owners of the firm "writing up" their own time on the same file to increase their own share of the billings to the client.
Frequently, this phenomenon is accompanied by the owners of the firm "writing up" their own time on the same file to increase their own share of the billings to the client.
I billed 200 hours last month, but the backfield shrinkage will probably cut that in half by the time that it gets billed out.
by Frustrated_Monolingual December 29, 2011
(noun, borrowed from German) a tarp deployed over a college football stadium to hide empty seats that would otherwise be seen by television cameras.
Baylor uses a shamentarpen to cover the fact that they can't get fans into the stadium, even when they have a Heisman winner at QB. Rice uses a shamentarpen over each end zone, but each of them covers a number of seats lower than the average Rice SAT.
by Frustrated_Monolingual August 6, 2012
ESD - publicly acceptable shorthand for the sentence, "Eat shit and die." Commonly followed by a proper noun of address. Typically used in situations where the word shit is not allowed to be used, or where the available number of display characters is limited, e.g. license plates and public signs.
Mr. Jones, I want you to go into the lounge of the common area at Walton Hall tonight and write on the chalkboard, "ESDW. XOXO, H."
by Frustrated_Monolingual January 1, 2010
(noun) - a legal service in which the nature of the work being performed, such as patent prosecution or document review, discourages contact with other human beings and alienates the worker from the broader legal context of the transaction for which the work is being performed.
Sally, who could have avoided her current fate by shagging one of her firm's partners while she was still young and hot, thought that going to biglaw would mean glamorous jury arguments, but her resume is now worthless, because she's been doing nothing but cavelaw for three years as she typed up summaries of documents for month after month.
by Frustrated_Monolingual September 13, 2009
(noun) - a turd delivered, due to the expectation of its raw heinousness, on the bathroom of another floor in your office building.
Yeah, Ben thinks he's cutting a stealthturd on 3rd floor every week. What he doesn't know is that the receptionist on the other side of the wall can hear him grunting.
by Frustrated_Monolingual September 11, 2009
(noun) - the action or systems necessary to compensate for a work environment in which authority to resolve a problem is chronically pushed up to the apex of an organization and accountability for having the problem solved is pushed down to the organization's lowest-ranking members.
Turd pumping, which is the verb form, is normally encouraged by punishing the subordinate worker for the non-compliance of his superiors.
Etymology: Because shit only flows downhill, anybody trying to make shit flow uphill must be using a pump.
Turd pumping, which is the verb form, is normally encouraged by punishing the subordinate worker for the non-compliance of his superiors.
Etymology: Because shit only flows downhill, anybody trying to make shit flow uphill must be using a pump.
Example 1: In a restaurant, the servers are made responsible for customer satisfaction but are denied the authority to order the kitchen to reheat cold food. One turd-pump method is to ask the waitress who is sleeping with the manager to take the food back to the kitchen for reheat.
Use in sentence: Janet can turd pump that steak back through the kitchen for you because the chef knows that the boss is hiding the sausage in her pantry.
Example 2 (use in sentence): Subordinate worker "begging for review" of document that subordinate worker is not allowed to file or submit to clients until the documents are reviewed by a superior, where the subordinate will be punished if results are not timely.
Use in sentence: The reason that Liu can't the client's assignment out on time is that you need a 3-phase turd pump to get the partners to sign anything this week.
Use in sentence: Janet can turd pump that steak back through the kitchen for you because the chef knows that the boss is hiding the sausage in her pantry.
Example 2 (use in sentence): Subordinate worker "begging for review" of document that subordinate worker is not allowed to file or submit to clients until the documents are reviewed by a superior, where the subordinate will be punished if results are not timely.
Use in sentence: The reason that Liu can't the client's assignment out on time is that you need a 3-phase turd pump to get the partners to sign anything this week.
by Frustrated_Monolingual January 1, 2010