2 definitions by Drockf
This term defines the akward, then funny, then sad, and finally moment of paranoia, when you realize you've been sitting on the toilet so long; reading, drawing, texting, eating, sleeping, singing, looking on the computer, or having a epiphany, that you genuinely forgot if A: You even took a shit B: Wether you wiped if the previous incident did happen in the first place.
This is often an unnerving experience that can only be solved by checking the bowl to see if there is any "evidence". Don't relax just yet if the bowl check comes back negative. This can be tricky as the phantom shit does exist and will fool an inexperienced shitter into thinking it was a poo dream or day poo dream. Then to be safe one must wipe, even though there is a chance that the poo is non existent and your wrinkled penny will be chafed by unnecessary wiping.
This is often an unnerving experience that can only be solved by checking the bowl to see if there is any "evidence". Don't relax just yet if the bowl check comes back negative. This can be tricky as the phantom shit does exist and will fool an inexperienced shitter into thinking it was a poo dream or day poo dream. Then to be safe one must wipe, even though there is a chance that the poo is non existent and your wrinkled penny will be chafed by unnecessary wiping.
Jimmy: The weirdest thing happened to me the other day.
Steve: What was it man?
Jimmy: I was eating my lunch on the can and then i did some homework, and drifted off. I woke up later and as i went to pull my pants up, I panicked thinking that i had taken a shit and was about to walk without wiping.
Steve: Well did you shit?
Jimmy: I don't know, i checked the bowl, and it was empty but i couldn't shake the feeling that i had taken a shit and it had disappeared, i mean i thought i took a shit but i couldn't remember, and there was no "evidence". How do i know if it was real?
Steve: How do we know if anything is real.... You wiped right?
Jimmy: I DONT KNOW MAN!!!!
Steve: I think you need to have a reality bowl check....
Steve: What was it man?
Jimmy: I was eating my lunch on the can and then i did some homework, and drifted off. I woke up later and as i went to pull my pants up, I panicked thinking that i had taken a shit and was about to walk without wiping.
Steve: Well did you shit?
Jimmy: I don't know, i checked the bowl, and it was empty but i couldn't shake the feeling that i had taken a shit and it had disappeared, i mean i thought i took a shit but i couldn't remember, and there was no "evidence". How do i know if it was real?
Steve: How do we know if anything is real.... You wiped right?
Jimmy: I DONT KNOW MAN!!!!
Steve: I think you need to have a reality bowl check....
by Drockf February 5, 2014
Laughing so hard and violently that you lose control of your bodily functions such as; crying, choking, drooling, farting, peeing, or pooping yourself, rolling around on the ground as if you were tazed, slapping your knee while tying to breathe and squealing like a pig, or any combination of the prior.
A Leizure is enjoyable to the person but is even more so to those that watch and are caught in its area of effect. It can be as funny as the instigating humour, and may propagate more laughter or Leizures. When it happens within a group of friends or public places, it can set off a chain of Leizures, where no one can understand why they are laughing, or indeed what was even funny in the first place.
Trying to stop laughing once caught in a chain Leizure is impossible, as the laughter is now self sustaining. An attempt to fight it is usually marked by a strained expression of lip biting, a snort, a bulging forehead vein and eyes, and then a magnified burst of built up laughter. This is usually the case when a spontaneous Leizure is sparked in an inappropriate location, such as church, a final exam, court, or a funeral. This can cause an even larger ripple of laughter in the group phase. Laughter will only subside in this scenario, when the laughter organs, such as diaphragm, abdominals, and lungs, are so fatigued from spasming that they are physically unable to produce anymore laughter.
A Leizure is enjoyable to the person but is even more so to those that watch and are caught in its area of effect. It can be as funny as the instigating humour, and may propagate more laughter or Leizures. When it happens within a group of friends or public places, it can set off a chain of Leizures, where no one can understand why they are laughing, or indeed what was even funny in the first place.
Trying to stop laughing once caught in a chain Leizure is impossible, as the laughter is now self sustaining. An attempt to fight it is usually marked by a strained expression of lip biting, a snort, a bulging forehead vein and eyes, and then a magnified burst of built up laughter. This is usually the case when a spontaneous Leizure is sparked in an inappropriate location, such as church, a final exam, court, or a funeral. This can cause an even larger ripple of laughter in the group phase. Laughter will only subside in this scenario, when the laughter organs, such as diaphragm, abdominals, and lungs, are so fatigued from spasming that they are physically unable to produce anymore laughter.
I had a Leizure after watching nutshot complications on youtube.
There was a chain Leizure in class today when someone let out a seated fart horn, followed by a cheeky hollow whine. When the professor demanded silence the students did their best, but inevitably when he turned to continue writing on the smart board, someone snorted and laughed and set off a disastrous chain Leizure.
Friend 1: Did Jimmy get Tazed? He's rolling around on the ground choking for air and he's pissed and shit himself!!!
Friend 2: No hahaha he saw the definition of Logjam on urban dictionary hahaha and now he's having a hahahaahahaha, oh no chain Leizure!! (falls to the ground thrashing and drooling)
Friend 1: Hahaahhahhaha (falls to one knee, not influenced by urban dictionary) hahahahah (throws up on Jimmy from Leizuring) hahahaha
(This goes on for 17 minutes)
There was a chain Leizure in class today when someone let out a seated fart horn, followed by a cheeky hollow whine. When the professor demanded silence the students did their best, but inevitably when he turned to continue writing on the smart board, someone snorted and laughed and set off a disastrous chain Leizure.
Friend 1: Did Jimmy get Tazed? He's rolling around on the ground choking for air and he's pissed and shit himself!!!
Friend 2: No hahaha he saw the definition of Logjam on urban dictionary hahaha and now he's having a hahahaahahaha, oh no chain Leizure!! (falls to the ground thrashing and drooling)
Friend 1: Hahaahhahhaha (falls to one knee, not influenced by urban dictionary) hahahahah (throws up on Jimmy from Leizuring) hahahaha
(This goes on for 17 minutes)
by Drockf February 5, 2014