1. A memetic media virus propogated by FAUX News
, the 24 hour infotainment
network A completely ridiculous red herring
spawned in the winter of 2005, the War on Christmas refers to the alleged schemings of liberal secularist grinches to threaten the religious freedoms of Christians, that horribly opressed minority (all 80% of them).
Cited examples of this so-called opression include opposition to displays of a distinctly religious nature erected on taxpayer-funded public spaces, and the policies of many businesses to wish their patrons 'Happy Holidays'. This was somehow construed by some disgruntled conservatives as an all-out declaration of war on Christmas.
2. The War on Christmas also alludes to the title of an entire book written by FOX anchorman John Gibson, an obvious marketing tie-in to the product they are constantly selling: divisive hype.
3. The ongoing struggle against insurgent
elves. Even though Old Saint Nick allowed UN inspectors to visit his compound in the North Pole where no WMD
were found, the Bush administration insisted on a preemptive-strike
on Santa's Workshop.
Target Employee: Happy Holidays!
Disgruntled Conservative: What did you say?!? Do I look like some kind of jew
? This is just another sick example of the tree-hugging, Birkenstock-wearing, CNN-watching, Clinton-blowing secular humanist War on Christmas!!