8 definitions by Cunty Joe
Noun: An urgent examination of one's own underwear when one fears that a release of gas from the anus may have crossed the line between fart and shart.
Artie: {makes a huge juicy sounding fart after eating too many black bean burritos and chasing them down with a venti sized pumpkin spice cafe latté}
Carlton: Whoa dude! That sounded nasty! You better do a gravy check!
Carlton: Whoa dude! That sounded nasty! You better do a gravy check!
by Cunty Joe September 24, 2016
Noun: A sex act in which a male starts fapping (masturbating) to internet porn only to be interrupted by his cunty wife coming back unexpectedly soon from the shopping mall. When this occurs, the male must quickly shut down the porn site, pull up his pants, and make it look like he was researching do-it-yourself home renovation projects on some girly home improvement website. Similar to coitus interruptus but refers to only male solo sex acts.
Robert: I was in the middle of jerking off to big titty porn when my stupid wife came back too early from the mall.
Dan: Haha! Fappus interruptus! Did you get caught?
Robert: Nah, I pulled up my pants and browsed to some gay Martha Stewart endorsed home improvement website.
Dan: Haha! Fappus interruptus! Did you get caught?
Robert: Nah, I pulled up my pants and browsed to some gay Martha Stewart endorsed home improvement website.
by Cunty Joe September 24, 2016
A euphemism for the sex services provided at a rub and tug massage parlour. Often used to deceive people who are not in the know, like your stupid fat bitchy boss.
Sorry, Boss, I'd love to come to that meeting but I gotta leave work early for a massage therapy appointment.
by Cunty Joe September 24, 2016
An expression used when you agree to become part of an epic fuck fest involving many hot, possibly drunken, sluts.
Mikey: Yo! It's beer night at the sorority house and they just made a booty call! Wanna come with?
Steve-o: Oh yeah! Cunt me in!
Steve-o: Oh yeah! Cunt me in!
by Cunty Joe September 24, 2016
A period of the time in which the pussy flows freely and is relatively easy to get, relative to other periods of time.
Milty: It's the first day of university and the hotties are back in town and ready to party! Time to rock out with our cocks out!
Billy- Bob: True dat! Cunting season is on, yo!
Billy- Bob: True dat! Cunting season is on, yo!
by Cunty Joe September 24, 2016
An expletive you say when you just don't give a fuck about the consequences and you decide you are going make an irresponsible choice you might regret shortly thereafter. Similar to fuck it but more appropriate to use when your irresponsible choice may upset a stupid bitchy cunt that you unfortunately may have to answer to later.
Mike: Let's blow off this deadline and get drunk at the titty bar instead!
Johnny: What will our boss say?
Mike: That stupid bitch can write the report herself!
Johnny: You're right! Cunt it! Let's bounce outa here and get our drink on!
Johnny: What will our boss say?
Mike: That stupid bitch can write the report herself!
Johnny: You're right! Cunt it! Let's bounce outa here and get our drink on!
by Cunty Joe September 24, 2016
Adjective to describe an arrogant, conceited male who portrays himself as a major player with the ladies but when it comes to performing the sex act, he totally sucks at it and disappoints every chick that he fucks by cumming prematurely and blowing only a tiny, pathetic amount of jizz.
Allie: That baller you fucked last night must have been spectacular in bed, huh?
Brittney: No way! That loser was all fizz and no jizz!
Brittney: No way! That loser was all fizz and no jizz!
by Cunty Joe September 24, 2016