CTU_FieldAgent200's definitions

Tylenol 0

Sarcasm for regular tylenol....Of the Tylenol series contains the most paracetamol! A whopping 500mg!! Combined with nothing else! Liver damage and no pain relief! Recommended by 10/10 doctors too afraid to even prescribe 5 mg of codeine compounded with 1350mg of APAP and atropine for fear that surely everyone no matter there level of pain is out for some prescribed dope!!

Tylenol 0: 500mg APAP/0mg of codeine
Tylenol 1: 300mg APAP/8mg of codeine
Tylenol 2: 300mg APAP/15mg of codeine
Tylenol 3: 300mg APAP/30mg of codeine
Tylenol 4: 300mg APAP/60mg codeine

In reality APAP is far more toxic than any opioid. That is why they compound it with opioids so in order to get a buzz you have to consume copius amounts of Tylenol thus killing your liver in the process! For example lortab 5mg hydro/ 500mg APAP, in order to get high you'd need 15-20mg of hydrocodone for a decent buzz NO tolerance, you'd be consuming 1500-2000mg of APAP just to do that far over the FDA limit.

Drug addicts: scaring doctors from prescribing and preventing chronic pain patients from recieving relief!!

Doctor: Break a pinky? Here's 4mg dilaudid and some percoset 5s with some T4s for breakthrough pain, also here some Valium for the stress breaking a pinky has caused as well as some soma for the spasms, I gave you unlimited 99 refills for all of those and if you need a diamorphine drip set up at home just call my pill pushing nurse practitioner!!!! Suffer from debilitating pain from a chronic illness? Uh take some Tylenol 0 (regular Tylenol) there's too many risks aka I'm too scared of the DEA ripping my liscence out of my hands through my asshole for prescribing any thing that is mildly addictive and even if you are in pain I don't care because it's not my problem!!

by CTU_FieldAgent200 December 9, 2010

K-pins

Street name for clonazepam (brand name: klonopin). Basically the same potency of xanax but triple the half life making your usual xanned out experience longer acting or in my case not feeling like the world is collapsing 24/7. 0.5mg kpin = 10mg valium. kpins are bad ass and I suggest trying them but don't use them or opioids chronically unless you have a prescription in which case its fine because you have a solid source. Oh yeah and don't rapidly stop off kpins or xanax or other benzo's unless your like full blown seizures, double the anxiety you had before your doctor put you on the drug and of course the DT's like some alcoholic and other weird stuff.

Ever since I was introduced to benzo's I learned that pharmaceuticals aren't just sugar pills and that there are effective drugs....

k-pins are a life saver for people with chronic anxiety that have finally realized SSRI's are a pile or platypus shit for anxiety.

by CTU_FieldAgent200 January 28, 2011

ass to the grass

The proper way to squat. Only girls and phaggots complain about this and if you think it kills your knees your just a pussy. Basically you go further pass parallel tell your ass is almost touching the ground ("grass"). This ensures you properly work all the muscles. And it looks way more bad ass. 225 ass to the grass or bust. Also known as ATG

Bob: *quarter squatting 225*

Frank: hey bob why don't you stop being a pussy and start squating ass to the grass *squats 315 ATG for ten reps*

by CTU_FieldAgent200 May 22, 2010

Butt-fuck county

Butt-fuck county is a fictional area (or at least I hope and pray it is) in the middle of no where. May be used to describe a very rural and very sketchy area. Butt-fuck county generally lacks things like cell phone reception (to call the non-existant butt-fuck county sheriff), law enforcement (when your getting chased by a meth head farmer boy with a shotgun), and normal human beings. What it does have however are plenty of horse headed gal's, corn fields, trucks, farm animals, toothless "good ol' boys" and if you stop and roll the windows down (you probably shouldn't ever stop) you can often hear banjo's playing, if the sound of banjo's starts to converge from multiple directions you should promptly turn the hell around.

I was driving through West Virginia thinking it would get me to New York faster and my buddy told me to roll down the windows in when we were in the middle of Butt-fuck county, suddenly the sound of banjos got closer until we looked around and were surrounding by banjo players and angry farmers. We promptly turned the hell around.

by CTU_FieldAgent200 June 24, 2014

Opioid haze

When your so full of opioids (Oxy, hydrodocone, H, morph, dilaudid, etc.) that your just in pure bliss regardless of your situation. Usually results in just dazing off, pin point pupils, empathogenic feelings, etc. Sometimes you don't even need to use allot of opioids just a low dose with a low doze benzo.

-Aw man feeling good atm after popping a 1mg k-pin and a lortab 10....Just enough to take the anxiety away and kill any bodily pain...er um its real funny though my intestines have decided not to move but right now this opioid haze is something from the heavens.

by CTU_FieldAgent200 March 1, 2011

Emergency Room

The emergency room is literally the worst place to be not because of the fact that you just crushed your entire hand and its gushing blood while a woman with a cold is rushed into a room with 3 Residents and an ER Doc but because you will literally see the scum of america.Usually you'll see a fat chick nursing a baby in clothes that really should have been left at home/never scene in public with, some random hobo in smelly shitty clothes, shanqiqi who is either bitching about her boyfriend on the phone or making up a story as to how there child "fell down the stairs" and managed to get a spiral fracture, crying baby that probably makes you want to go postal, tough lumbar jack like dude with like some insane injury just sitting there, drug seekers who "lost there MS Contin" and seam to do so on a regular basis or maybe its the guy who "accidentally spilled his Opana ER down a sour pipe", etc.
After waiting 7 and a half hours in front of a bunch of chuckle heads looking to score some dilaudid you get in and the doctor usually looks at you like your an alien. If its a broken limb you usually get a cast and a bottle of Vicodin. If you have some mysterious ailment you usually have 4 residents scratching there head while some half retarded physicians assistant who's "scene it all" explains that you just have a tummy ache. But this is not before they take a bunch of your blood, do random tests and give you enough radiation from the CT scan,MRI,Xray to give a child terminal cancer.

-After getting hit by a car while bicycling John crawled to the ER for over an hour with two broken femurs and structural damage to his femural artery. When he reached the medical twilight zone that is the Emergency Room he was told to take a seat while jimal and gramps were scene by doctors for stuffy noses.

-Shit I broken my arm...ah its off to the wonderful freak show that is the Emergency Room!!!

-Emergency Room: Saving the world from seeing its primary care doctor, Would you like some dilaudid with that?

by CTU_FieldAgent200 March 5, 2011

opiophobic shield

What doctors and more often physician assistants put up when someone with legitimate chronic pain has exhausted all other options aside from opioids; potent narcotic analgesics. The reason for it is usually the provider has been harassed by the Drug Enforcement Agency (DEA) into thinking they have some "quota" or max number of times they can write for opioids which is bogus.

The shield usually consists of blatant lies to patients such as:
"I actually can't prescribe narcotics..."
"There is too much of a risk of addiction with that product so I'm not going to prescribe it"
"Its too addictive"
"I'm not allowed"
Or commonly just a blank stare as they look at you as if you just asked for 900mg of heroin in tablet form simultaneously coming up with a way to avoid the topic. Ask any chronic pain patient how many times they've had to arm wrestle physicians for better quality of life.

John 19 years old had been a star power lifter and football player for 5 years, towards the end of his high school experience he herniated a disc in his neck resulting in severe weakness and shooting pain in both arms. After 12 months of pain management with full compliance and patience John showed little improvement in his pain levels despite trying everything his physician suggested. When he asked for something stronger his doctor accused him of being drug seeking and dismissed his requests. When John ended up with more pain he had to see his doctors physicians assistant since the doctor was too busy playing golf. The physicians assistant lied to John and told him "he could not prescribe pain killers", the PA obviously didn't have the balls to be upfront and John continues to suffer.

Earny 91 years old had been doing manual labor work for over 30 years and was hit by a car causing severe pain that could not be resolved with regular pain killers. His doctor refused to put him on MS Contin or any other pain killers citing the fact that he could become addicted. Even though Earny's health was rapidly deteriorating his doctor put his own agenda ahead of Earny's quality of life. Earny died a slow painful death which could have been eased with Morphine.

Narcotics are vital and legitimate aspects of medicine! Do not be an opiophobic shield to a better life for pain patients!

by CTU_FieldAgent200 October 25, 2011