disturbate

Verb. To get gratification through self-interruption. To pleasure oneself by purposefully causing one's own interference. To gain satisfaction, happiness, elation, or joy by interrupting one's own peace, quiet, rest, or harmony.

Other forms include: disturbator, disturbation, disturbates, disturbating.
As usual, just when everything in his life is in order and he has seemingly achieved a high level of peace and harmony, Tom becomes bored and miserable and begins to disturbate.

Bill will disturbate if he thinks that his life has become too settled, quiet, or free of stress.

Jack will disturbate until there is an adequate amount of chaos in his life.

After playing a flawless first half, the Jaguars fumbled the second half kickoff and continued to disturbate until the game was tied. Satisfied, they then won the game in overtime.

What to others looks like a perfect existence actually causes Sam to disturbate.

After receiving a huge bonus for his amazing sales production, Mac chose drinking too many cocktails at lunch everyday as his way to disturbate.

Smooth sailing always prompts Tony to disturbate.
by Buzz Writeyear February 02, 2008
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Tom Cruise

A combination of vacation and convention at sea aboard a luxury oceanliner where all of the on-board tourists are either Scientologists, closet homosexuals, or adoring fans of the actor with the same name.
Erick chose to attend the "How to Marry a Beard" symposium on the annual Tom Cruise and also signed up for other seminar topics such as "Discrediting Psychiatry", "Artificial Insemination for the Squeamish", "Kissing Nicole Kidman: Just Close Your Eyes and Think of Gomer Pyle", "Repeat After Me: This is Not a Cult. This is Not a Cult. This is Not a Cult.", and "Jerry McGuire: Sports Agent or Locker Room Meat Inspector?".

As the date of the annual Tom Cruise draws near, The Beckham's vibrate with excitement, as do assorted AC/DC types, and "Top Gun" freaks.

It's a fact: No citizen of Germany has ever sailed on a Tom Cruise.
by Buzz Writeyear January 26, 2008
mugGet the Tom Cruisemug.

technofucked

A situation where various high technology devices simultaneously fail and are rendered useless.
Immediately after his internet connection dropped, Joe noticed that his cell phone didn't have a signal and the battery in his PDA would not hold a charge. He knew right away that he was technofucked.

Bob was so thoroghly technofucked that he wondered if a giant meteor had just crashed into Earth, thus terminating all electronic communications worldwide.

With no cell towers in the area, Jay was completely technofucked when his GPS system crashed as he was driving in a rural, unfamiliar part of the county.

The I.T. geek was explaining the problem in a complex, technical manner when I interrupted and exclaimed, "I'm technofucked!".

Frustrated after a few minutes of being technofucked, Scott wondered if this was how life felt in the 1950's.

Lea never enjoys camping trips in the wilderness because she rejects the idea of being voluntarily technofucked.

After just a few minutes at his grandmother's home, he was overcome with depression as the grim reality of not having wi-fi, cable TV, or air conditioning left him incredibly technofucked.
by Buzz Writeyear January 25, 2008
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Mascist

An oppressive person or dictator who forces, badgers, cajoles, or coerces other people to attend Catholic Mass.
Weekend houseguests at my father in-law's home realize early Sunday morning that he is a raging Mascist.

Not content to attend church alone, Robert resorts to his old Mascist tendencies.

My boss is such a Mascist that he always tells me on Friday that he looks forward to seeing me at the early service on Sunday.
by Buzz Writeyear February 05, 2008
mugGet the Mascistmug.

keyboardasm

An overwhelming sensation of pleasure that a person experiences while typing something that they feel is particularly brilliant, original, poignant or funny. The satisfaction and elation is the opposite of feelings associated with writer's block.
Typing furiously on her computer, the author experienced a keyboardasm when she realized that she had perfectly expressed with words the exact feeling and emotion that she had hoped to convey.
by Buzz Writeyear January 15, 2008
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Mike Vick

We ate dinner at a cheap Mexican restaurant and I took a tremendous Mike Vick the next morning.

When walking my dog I always carry a small plastic bag so that I am able to clean up his Mike Vick from the neighbor's yard.

Modern art is generally just a bunch of Mike Vick.

Open a window! It smells like Mike Vick in here!

I don't give a Mike Vick how late your friends are allowed to stay out, I want you back home no later than 11:00.
by Buzz Writeyear January 22, 2008
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winoceros

A person who takes extreme pride in their ability to recognize and describe the complexities of a particular wine by simply inserting their nose into a partially filled glass and sniffing.
After dramatically removing the bottle's cork, the arrogant sommelier poured a small amount of wine into my glass and then sardonically waited for me to examine it. Imagine his shock as he realized that I am a very competent winoceros, and thus quite skilled at identifying aromas and subsequently describing the various hints of chocolate, licorice, and blackberry that were present in the wine.

Lea enjoys attending wine tasting events because they give her an opportunity to exercise her nose and demonstrate exceptional abilities as a winoceros.
by Buzz Writeyear January 21, 2008
mugGet the winocerosmug.