Brucester's definitions

Gronk

British Trainspotter speak for a class 08
diesel electric shunting loco. The BTC commissioned about 1100 of them back in the late 50s and a substantial number are still in traffic.

Gronks are sometimes known as Jockos

1V57 failed just outside Reading and they had to use a Gronk to haul it in out of the way.

by Brucester February 24, 2009

spam flautist

Virtuoso fellatio performer.

Presidential spam flautist Monika Lewinski lied in court again today, yet privately hoped she would be found out, as the whole point of the exercise was that she wanted to simply be catalogued in history as someone who blew the President. <Mindless cunt>

by Brucester September 13, 2006

cowsh

Mendip caving slang for cow shit.

As we entered sump five we found that it was thigh deep in cowsh.

by Brucester September 16, 2006

Industrial Tribunal

Industrial Tribunal (UK) used to be a court designed to deal with the bad employers. It is now a sham, 1000s of good employers are ending up being IT'd due to 'no win - no fee solicitors' and an oppressive spiteful govenment.

We're not sure what we did wrong, it's so complicated. We spent £12k on legal fees in the run up to court. We made a mistake in our HR procedures and were fined £16k. I have now lost my house and my company. Turns out that the claimant has done this 3 times before.

Welcome to Industrial Tribunal in the UK !

by Brucester June 4, 2011

age

Pronounced 'idge' a suffix attached to almost any word. Invented in 1988. Whilst doing exhibition work we were asked to, "Go and put up the 'signage' to which we replied,
"And after that we are going to have some drinkage some clubbage and a bit of kebabage" Since then adding 'age' to the end of a word has spread impressively but now seems to be on the decline.

Kippage, drinkage, chatage, swimage etc etc

by Brucester September 10, 2006

pseudo good

'Pseudo Good' is an event that you feel good or happy about but only because it has deceived you into thinking it is good. The good was only a possibility - but it turned out to be nothing.

Pseudo Good is the opium of life, it keeps you positive, it usually does not amount to 'actual good' but by then you have forgotten how lame the Pseudo Good was and you happliy swallow the next load of Pseudo Good, just like a gold fish biting at nothing because its memory is too short to remember that nothing doesn't taste of anything.

I'm so happy that x girl at college is starting to be friendly with me! - Six weeks later she blanks me because she only wanted to get a lift with me to classes. It was only Pseudo Good.

I'm so happy - the boss wants a meeting with me next week about the managers job - Turns out he just wanted me to cover the vacancy until someone more experienced replys to the job add. It was only Pseudo Good.

I'm so happy x company wants to buy our stuff, all my hard sales work has paid off!! - turns out that their previous supplier had put them on stop due to non payment because they have no money and now they are going bust owing us thousnads and we are probably going to go bust too. It was only Pseudo Good.

I'm so happy - I've just voted for a new government - (Insert outcome here)

by Brucester June 4, 2011

Non Specific Builderitis

A critical and sometimes expensive condition whereby a builder goes off at a tangent and does something you didn't want. Why is it called, "Non specific"? BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T SPECIFY IT !

Opens door, "Oh no what's that?" Why have they done that? When challenged the builder will start his reply with, "What I thought was" You will think, "I am a victim of Non Specific Builderitis"

by Brucester April 10, 2008