42 definitions by Argonak

When the man slathers his veiny gopher in chili before participating in any form of sex (concentual or not).

Often utilized as an effective way to get a blowjob from a hungry obese person.
"Mrs.Folkman gave me a mean grand chili dog...the only problem was that I used spicy chili so my meat was burning for a whole week."
by Argonak April 15, 2008

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A piss battle can be one of several types of piss oriented competition.

1. The contestants simply see who pisses farther...or pisses more. AKA a pissing contest.

2. The two contenders attach their urinary tracts via some form of tube with the use of a waterproofing substance and a glue of some sort. The two people proceed to drink a defined amount of a liquid (say one gallon per person or something of the sort)...then the waiting begins.

The two people then begin to piss. As the urge to urinate increases an epic piss battle begins to ensue. The golden liquid will then be pushed between the two people until eventually one of the combatant's bladders bursts. (More liquid may be ingested by combatants if a stalemate ensues or if not enough liquid is present for a bladder bursting...or surrender.)

History: Piss battles have been an effective way of testing the manhood of males for centuries. Since the prowess in battle is directly linked to the genitals of the combatant, the winner is said to be more sexually potent then the loser.
Piss battles rarely end with death as it takes a surprising amount of pressure to burst the bladder. The ones that DO end in death are particularly heinous. The victim will endure crippling pain and if untreated immediately setpic shock.

Piss battles are known to cause cancer in the state of California.
by Argonak April 13, 2008

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This torture device, also known as the Judas Cradle, was implimented often by the Spanish Inquisition.

The victim was hoisted up by a rope and forced to sit on top of a pyramid shaped device, thereby causing rectal trauma of several kinds.
I heard that homosexuals find the Judas Chair quite pleasurefull...
by Argonak April 11, 2008

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A magnet for cum.

Wether or not a scientific device actually exists which can attract semenal fluids to itself, a cum magnet can simply be a slut or a prostitute.
1. "Wow...that hoe is a cum magnet."

2. Shortly after designing the worlds most powerful cum magnet, the scientists behind this marvel quite suddenly had all of their semen torn from their bodies.
by Argonak August 23, 2008

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1. Something that is protruding and surprizing at the same time. Often the protrusion is the cause of the surprise.

2. When a woman conceals a strap-on/dildo and you are fucking or about to fuck, when suddenly she unleases her toy on your anus.

3. When you wake someone up by sticking something in their ass.
#1:
"My ass still hurts after my girlfriend decided to give me a protruding surprise..."

#2:
"Wow! What a protruding surprise!"
by Argonak April 12, 2008

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noun:
1. A midget who is also a dominatrix.

As seen on Jerry Springer:

The midget named Thor enters with his host of various bondage apparatus.
#1:
Rodion: "Travis is a midget who likes bondage."

Steve: "So he is a dominatrix midget?"

Rodion: "Yes."

#2:
"My name is Thor" - Dominatrix Midget Thor
by Argonak April 11, 2008

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An overexagerated term for a penis. This term implies that not only does said penis exist, but that God himself gave it to the owner.

Someone who is proud of his (or hers?) penis would use this term.
I will smite you with my God given meat, in the name of all things holy!
by Argonak July 19, 2008

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