Ae5Ea8's definitions

twerky jerky

This sounds like it should be a thing

Snap into a twerky jerky

by Ae5Ea8 September 10, 2016

beard-polar depression

Combination of "beard" and "bi-polar depression," describing the loss, sadness, and vicarious nakedness one feels when a male acquaintance suddenly shaves off his beard.

Joe was rocking the beard until today. I'm so blue...must be beard-polar depression.

by Ae5Ea8 February 24, 2015

blahzzard

A snowfall that everyone thinks is going to be a full-on blizzard but ends up producing a pretty minimal amount of snow.

Yo, do you remember the nasty Blizzard of '79?
Broseph, I think you're talking about the Blahzzard of '79. It was in '78 when we had the real blizzard.

by Ae5Ea8 January 26, 2015

youpon

Combination of "you" and "coupon," describing a homemade gift certificate to a significant other for some kind of personal service that you will undertake for them, such as a foot rub, taking out the trash, or taking the other person out to a nice dinner.

Happy anniversary, dear.

Wow, a youpon for you cleaning out the cat boxes for a week!

by Ae5Ea8 March 12, 2015

Obsessive Taping Disorder

Using way more packing tape than necessary when mailing back a return purchase. You know it's overkill but you just can't help yourself.

I can't seem to stop my Obsessive Taping Disorder. I need to talk to someone about it.

by Ae5Ea8 June 2, 2015

Fenway Park

A place in a man's mind completely devoid of sexual connotation. The image of this place is used to talk oneself down from an erection. When a man is in a public place and threatened with the onset of an erection, a Code Red is sounded in his mind. There has to be — ever at the ready — a place where his mind goes to that has nothing at all to do with sex. The place has to be familiar and engaging. The attributes of the scene can be as various as each man is unique. The most successful scenes are those so deeply non-sexual that it is nearly certain that no sexual associations can be made. It takes focus, but with some self-control, a man can usually get his shit together before his arousal becomes evident to the outside world.

Hitting a home run over the Green Monster: it's my Fenway Park. The crack of the bat, the cheer of the crowd, the bright lights, perfectly manicured grass...

by Ae5Ea8 April 4, 2015

public hair

a pubic hair gone on a walkabout somewhere quite visible, possibly on one's shirt or stuck behind a piece of Scotch tape

public hair
so wrong, so human, such a personal hygiene foul

by Ae5Ea8 September 6, 2016