Ae5Ea8's definitions

Fenway Park

A place in a man's mind completely devoid of sexual connotation. The image of this place is used to talk oneself down from an erection. When a man is in a public place and threatened with the onset of an erection, a Code Red is sounded in his mind. There has to be — ever at the ready — a place where his mind goes to that has nothing at all to do with sex. The place has to be familiar and engaging. The attributes of the scene can be as various as each man is unique. The most successful scenes are those so deeply non-sexual that it is nearly certain that no sexual associations can be made. It takes focus, but with some self-control, a man can usually get his shit together before his arousal becomes evident to the outside world.

Hitting a home run over the Green Monster: it's my Fenway Park. The crack of the bat, the cheer of the crowd, the bright lights, perfectly manicured grass...

by Ae5Ea8 April 4, 2015

Porta-Pottyama

trying to hold your breath for the duration of your use of the Porta-Potty due to the smell

Pranayama is breath control

The Stench of the Porta-Potty was vile: I could either become one with the Stench, as Yoda had taught me, or hold my breath. I chose the latter.

My Porta-Pottyama failed me, though, as I finally had to suck in a huge breath -- my sensory sensations then feasted on the filth of fermenting human waste.

by Ae5Ea8 April 3, 2017

beard-polar depression

Combination of "beard" and "bi-polar depression," describing the loss, sadness, and vicarious nakedness one feels when a male acquaintance suddenly shaves off his beard.

Joe was rocking the beard until today. I'm so blue...must be beard-polar depression.

by Ae5Ea8 February 24, 2015

cariosity

Combination of "car" and "curiosity," describing the strange fascination and curiosity when you see someone with the same exact car as you. The curiosity is heightened because although our personal interaction with the car is always experienced privately, another owner of the same car probably has similar experiences as you.

What cariosity I have...I can't stop thinking about who owns this green 1980 Datsun 210 station wagon.

by Ae5Ea8 April 4, 2015

insecuribeep

Combination of "insecurity" and the "beep" of your car horn. An "insecuribeep" occurs when you are walking away from your car and you get that sudden feeling of insecurity due to the uncertainty as to whether or not you locked your car doors. So you press the lock button on your infrared key ring three times fast, which forces your car to make the more audible car horn "beep," thus setting your mind at ease.

Freudian theory of psychoanalysis suggests that a feeling of insecuribeep comes from the sadness associated with a low crunchberry to Cap'n crunch ratio in your cereal bowl.

by Ae5Ea8 February 9, 2015

prisoner's dilemma

The uncomfortable but ultimate acceptance of another dude farting at a the urinal while you're in the bathroom. You can't claim that it's an inappropriate place to fart, so you just gotta deal with it.

I was faced with the prisoner's dilemma right before my big interview at the company's headquarters.

by Ae5Ea8 May 19, 2016

DeuceTime

FaceTiming someone while you're dropping a deuce

To DeuceTime, or not to DeuceTime,

That is the questino.

by Ae5Ea8 September 10, 2016