douchetag

Saying or writing something marginally funny, but then making it just plain old douchey by prefacing it with a hashtag.
#realmenuseemoticons is a douchetag
by Ae5Ea8 October 03, 2015
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mute salute

"Mute salute" describes a short, loud burst of sound from a student's laptop showing that they were watching a video instead of taking notes. A mute salute correctly causes those around you to infer that you were not paying attention at all and either watching cat videos on Youtube or some ridiculous "FAIL" video on TMZ.
Did you hear Jobob's mute salute in class today?

Yeah, that was a total fail. He's on the teacher's shit list now for sure.
by Ae5Ea8 March 02, 2015
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closet duty

When your cat spends the night in your closet by accident because you inadvertently closed the door while the cat was in the closet. Usually there is no scratching or meowing. The next morning the cat pops out, as if nothing was amiss.
Fluffy! Sorry about the closet duty!
by Ae5Ea8 March 20, 2015
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hurp

A hiccup and a burp at the same time.
Sorry I just hurped. That was me, not a frog dying.
by Ae5Ea8 February 14, 2015
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delayed shatification

The ability to delay the gratification of taking a s&*t until you can get home and use your own toilet.
George Costanza understood the benefits of delayed shatification.
by Ae5Ea8 October 30, 2016
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Clinical name for being a total d bag, most of the time.
Many automobile drivers have OCDBD (Obsessive Compulsive Douche Bag Disorder). An example of OCDBD is not signaling before switching lanes.
by Ae5Ea8 April 27, 2015
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snock block

when you can't find a good snack, your snack gets cock blocked
If all you've got are year-old Saltines, stale graham crackers and raisin granola bars, you're snock has been blocked. It's a snock block.
by Ae5Ea8 January 04, 2018
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