douchetag

Saying or writing something marginally funny, but then making it just plain old douchey by prefacing it with a hashtag.

#realmenuseemoticons is a douchetag

by Ae5Ea8 October 03, 2015

hurp

A hiccup and a burp at the same time.

Sorry I just hurped. That was me, not a frog dying.

by Ae5Ea8 February 14, 2015

delayed shatification

The ability to delay the gratification of taking a s&*t until you can get home and use your own toilet.

George Costanza understood the benefits of delayed shatification.

by Ae5Ea8 October 30, 2016

mute salute

"Mute salute" describes a short, loud burst of sound from a student's laptop showing that they were watching a video instead of taking notes. A mute salute correctly causes those around you to infer that you were not paying attention at all and either watching cat videos on Youtube or some ridiculous "FAIL" video on TMZ.

Did you hear Jobob's mute salute in class today?

Yeah, that was a total fail. He's on the teacher's shit list now for sure.

by Ae5Ea8 March 02, 2015

closet duty

When your cat spends the night in your closet by accident because you inadvertently closed the door while the cat was in the closet. Usually there is no scratching or meowing. The next morning the cat pops out, as if nothing was amiss.

Fluffy! Sorry about the closet duty!

by Ae5Ea8 March 20, 2015

crap circles

when you have sharted and there are unexplained sacred geometric shapes in your briefs

Real men prefer briefs, for 'tis easier to identify and catalogue crap circles

by Ae5Ea8 December 18, 2018

invasion of drivacy

Staring into a parked car and then being surprised when you see someone looking out at you. At first, you can't see inside because of the glare. As you keep walking, however, you see that there is actually someone in there. As your eyes meet, you feel kind of embarrassed that you were looking into the car.

Neither tort law nor the Fourth Amendment protects against invasion of drivacy.

by Ae5Ea8 June 14, 2015