Ae5Ea8's definitions

Tub

A $20 bill. Often used in the plural. Derives from the abolitionist Harriet Tubman, whose image will succeed Andrew Jackson on the $20 bill.

Flea Market Patron: How many Tubs is that antique back scratcher?
Flea Market Vendor: Five Tubs, and not a Tub less.

by Ae5Ea8 May 22, 2016

text braking

Intentionally delaying your response by text so as to avoid the quick back and forth that would be expected during an actual conversation.

Although I was free at the moment, I applied text braking to the conversation.

by Ae5Ea8 April 18, 2016

captain's list

the short list of people with whom you would feel comfortable talking on the phone while you are dropping a deuce

My girlfriend has asked me to remove her from my captain's list.

by Ae5Ea8 April 27, 2016

public hair

a pubic hair gone on a walkabout somewhere quite visible, possibly on one's shirt or stuck behind a piece of Scotch tape

public hair
so wrong, so human, such a personal hygiene foul

by Ae5Ea8 September 6, 2016

Alice in Kirkland

Being disoriented in Costco because they've changed the location of items you were used to finding in a certain place

Where is that 80 gallon drum of peperoncini I need?
I must be suffering from Alice in Kirkland

by Ae5Ea8 September 6, 2016

printer ghost

what's responsible for sudden printer noises out of nowhere

things I don't like at the foot of my bed:

clowns and the printer ghost

by Ae5Ea8 September 6, 2016

fartnuckle

A fart so voluminous that after it has been expelled from your system you have to tighten up your belt by at least one buckle.

Fartnuckles are best experienced when they're a total surprise.

You'd think it would be call a "fartbuckle" but it's actually "fartnuckle," with an "n." And to be clear, it's not "fartknuckle" with a "kn." It's just an "n."

For any Game of Thrones fans:
one horn is a fartnuckle, two horns wildlings, three horns White Walkers

by Ae5Ea8 January 18, 2017