Ae5Ea8's definitions

captain's list

the short list of people with whom you would feel comfortable talking on the phone while you are dropping a deuce

My girlfriend has asked me to remove her from my captain's list.

by Ae5Ea8 April 27, 2016

public hair

a pubic hair gone on a walkabout somewhere quite visible, possibly on one's shirt or stuck behind a piece of Scotch tape

public hair
so wrong, so human, such a personal hygiene foul

by Ae5Ea8 September 6, 2016

Alice in Kirkland

Being disoriented in Costco because they've changed the location of items you were used to finding in a certain place

Where is that 80 gallon drum of peperoncini I need?
I must be suffering from Alice in Kirkland

by Ae5Ea8 September 6, 2016

printer ghost

what's responsible for sudden printer noises out of nowhere

things I don't like at the foot of my bed:

clowns and the printer ghost

by Ae5Ea8 September 6, 2016

fartnuckle

A fart so voluminous that after it has been expelled from your system you have to tighten up your belt by at least one buckle.

Fartnuckles are best experienced when they're a total surprise.

You'd think it would be call a "fartbuckle" but it's actually "fartnuckle," with an "n." And to be clear, it's not "fartknuckle" with a "kn." It's just an "n."

For any Game of Thrones fans:
one horn is a fartnuckle, two horns wildlings, three horns White Walkers

by Ae5Ea8 January 18, 2017

Fartnite

A multiplayer video game in which everyone is farting on or near each other

I played Fartnite until the raw hummus, celery and tree bark had passed all the way through da system.

by Ae5Ea8 October 22, 2018

crap circles

when you have sharted and there are unexplained sacred geometric shapes in your briefs

Real men prefer briefs, for 'tis easier to identify and catalogue crap circles

by Ae5Ea8 December 17, 2018