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I don't play games, I win them 

When two people are arguing and one tells the other to "stop playing games"! Yet the other person is always right, so they don't play games... they win them!
Dude: "You really gotta chill out and stop playing games!"
Dudette: "I don't play games, I win them!"

You Don't Win Friends With Salad 

Credit: The Simpsons

A song to sing in a Vegan's miserable face for trying to become your friend.
You Don't Win Friends With Salad, now go eat a fucking bacon butty you vegan scumbag

You can't win for losing 

When you win something but , winning means you lose either psychologically emotionally physically financially, anyway that negatively impacts you.
You do the dishes cuz your parents told you to and ,then when you're finished they yell at you for doing it wrong even though they didn't tell you how to do it in the first place ! Man you can't win for losing

You can't win 'em all

one cannot always be successful (often used after one has failed)
Damn, the Patriots beat the Eagles. I guess you can't win 'em all.

can't win for losing 

A phrase meaning that things would be going great for you if they weren't going so badly.
"Well, my girlfriend dumped me, my dog died, I got fired from my job, I went to grab some fast food to make myself feel better and on the drive back I got a flat tire, and when I finally get home I realize they screwed up my order."
"Damn, you can't win for losing."
can't win for losing by Kraas March 5, 2008

Words don't win a horse race 

This is an old New England saying, specifically originating during the heyday of Rockingham Park Racetrack in Salem, New Hampshire. You might say this when someone is all talk and no action or saying something they can't back up.
Asenath: I can cross-stitch so much better than you!
Ivory (who is a sought-after bride because of her cross-stitch skills): Words don't win a horse race.