To take an othewise perfectly functional device or peice of software, slow it down, make it buggy and general make a mess of things for the sole purpose of being able to browse pron directly on the app/device
All the recent versions of Office have been flakey as hell since they web-enabled the suite.
While our lifespan is the number of years we will live, our healthspan is the number of healthy years we will have and our sexspan is is the number of years we will continue to be healthy enough to continue having an active sex life.
A lighthearted reaction upon receiving disappointing news of some sort. Usually something that isn't a particularly a big deal, esp. when it primarily affects someone else - sort of a mild schadenfreude. Sometimes doubled or tripled, and possibly said in a sing-songy voice for added comedic effect to imitate a muted trumpet, which is how the meme originated.