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the optometrist 

The act of a male jizzing in a females eyes while open, and making her read a letter chart
"Oh my gawsh Brittney, augustine TOTALLY gave me The Optometrist last night and i swear i couldnt read past the 1st row. He sure has some thick semen"
the optometrist by brittney chung October 1, 2014

take the ole eye to the optometrist 

1. having sex

2. having sex after a long period of not having sex
I haven't had any in a long time its time to take the ole eye to the optometrist!