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spousal reflux 

When other people's normal everyday activities do not irritate you unless the other person performing the action is your spouse. Symptoms often include a throwuppie taste in your throat when your mate performs a minor function around you like chewing or breathing. There is no cure for Spousal Reflux except for suffocation or decapitation and these are illegal. Sufferers often dull symptoms by drinking until they can’t hear or see.
Watching and listening to Lloyd eat a bowl of almonds last night gave my the worst Spousal Reflux, I can still hear him crunching.
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