Spaffchomper

Someone so incompetent or unbelievably not of this world or stupid that they chew or chomp on spaff( male ejaculate or “cum”) rather than the most obvious and traditional response of spitting or swallowing.

He proved he was a complete and utter spaffchomper with his suggestion he could rely on peoples common sense.

He entered the shop without a face mask proving he was a spaffchomper.