protect the children 

It is a philosophy conservatives and assorted soccer moms came up with to destroy everything a kid might find fun. It is based on the idea that if people coddle their kids from doing anything that even could have the slightest potential for harming the kid it should be outlawed.

How do the "protect the children" crazies work? well it starts with some dumbass that gets hurt or raped or sees porn, or is even just playing a game or music and someone sees it and rats or gets hurt. The soccer mom parent sues with the claim "because my boy was so stupid to get himself hurt all must suffer" and bam it is outlawed. They also tend to think pedophiles are behind every rock, tree and bush and will do whatever it takes to keep kids inside a vacuum or bubble.

no more swing-sets to take kids on? No more good kids television shows? No more fun animated violence in video games/movies? good cooking utensils? Safety scissors? dressing up in full military armor to just go rollerskating. The list goes on and on!

Me: why is your son fat
soccermom: He is safe from all things that could hurt him, we just keep him inside all day long, so he is devoid of all physical activity therefore he is big boned! You don't happen to be a pedophile? do you?
Me: *runs for my life* thinking "those protect the children nuts are sure raising some lifeless kids alright."

protect the children by wateriestfire September 25, 2006

We HaVe To PrOtEcT tHe ChIlDrEn

I shat out a fuck trophy and/or bought a child... With money... And now I've granted myself the moral authority curate reality... Even to the detriment of other people... And in spite of the fact that I'm a national and global minority... Therefore, I'm justified in using them as social leverage... Becuase they are under threat... But I can't really do anything and never have or will do anything about the DIRECT threat... And that's not what I'm talking about anyway... I'm talking about ABSTRACT threat... The threat being "me not being the high cleric of reality curation"... The abstract threat is almost MORE important to me... And I can use the subtle conflation of the two to galvanize people to my cause... And fearmonger them into giving me supreme ideological control... And I don't ME as in "Me" but rather ME as an abstraction and...

Hym "But... If the family is the minimal necessary unit... Then you're all one thing... Which means you get 1 vote per family. Right? Or does it mean that 60% of the country and 74% of the world are unnecessary? We're LESS THAN the minimal necessary unit? What exactly does that mean?"

Dr. JeepJorp "We HaVe To PrOtEcT tHe ChIlDrEn!!!"

Hym "Yeah? What's that? I can't hear you over the sound of the infection eating away at my brain..."

We HaVe To PrOtEcT tHe ChIlDrEn by Hym Iam March 25, 2023