Used as a precursor to copulation, intercourse, fornication, procreation, or any form of sexy time bedroom activities between two willing lovers. Popfarts began in the civil war era as a way to treat pancreatitis, gout, and scrotum cancer--it is also cited as the initial cause of scurvy.
Popfarts is best utilized when a man loves a woman--although he doesn't have to love her, nor do the duo have to be hetero; in fact, homosexuality is encouraged when farting off said breakfast pastries. Not to be confused with the breakfast pasty. See also: salami nipples.
Popfarts begins when one participant acquires poptarts and places them directly covering the entrance to the rectum of the other participant. The initiator must then wait for the recipient to fart the poptart off of their backside for intercourse to continue. If said fartee should stain the poptart a particular shade of brown from excessive force, said fartee shall be banished from the particular sexual encounter, and must wait a full twenty-four hours before returning to Poundtown, USA.
(optional) If no stain should occur, the poptart may be consumed only after completion of both parties.
Popfarts is best utilized when a man loves a woman--although he doesn't have to love her, nor do the duo have to be hetero; in fact, homosexuality is encouraged when farting off said breakfast pastries. Not to be confused with the breakfast pasty. See also: salami nipples.
Popfarts begins when one participant acquires poptarts and places them directly covering the entrance to the rectum of the other participant. The initiator must then wait for the recipient to fart the poptart off of their backside for intercourse to continue. If said fartee should stain the poptart a particular shade of brown from excessive force, said fartee shall be banished from the particular sexual encounter, and must wait a full twenty-four hours before returning to Poundtown, USA.
(optional) If no stain should occur, the poptart may be consumed only after completion of both parties.
Dude me and Debra had the most amazing time last night. We engaged in popfarts and it made for a mighty hearty breakfast the next day.
by Statutory Crepe! April 1, 2017
Get the Popfartsmug.