1. The condition which arises from extended periods without poon, or having sex. Patients suffer from poonitis will experience a burning in the loins for the heat of a woman's genitals, depression, loss of self esteem and will moan things such as "poon!" and "I need to get some." While masturbation may relieve the symptoms of poonitis temporarily it provides no real cure and the intense burning of the loins will return. The only known cure for poonitis is in fact the heat of a woman's genitals, or sex. If left untreated poonitis can result in loss of vision, malnutrition and even death.
2. Some people are immune to poonitis most notably, Clay Aiken and Senator Larry Craig. Although the reason for this is remains unclear.

the thing that you don’t have when you’re phones percentage is over 20

a physical fear of the woman's poon.