phanwank 

An eljay community for Phantom of the Opera fans---Excuse me, PHANS. The group, which is entirely composed of women (since the majority of hetero men avoid all reference to The Phantom of the Opera like the pox), obtains great lulz by seeking out "badphic"---that is, bad Phantom fanfiction---and subsequently mocking it in their intarwebz stronghold. This process more often than not involves "wanking"---not, as one might assume, the act of spanking one's monkey; but of adding comments in bold throughout the entirity of the badphic. These additions are typically quite humorous, unless one of teh uncool fancies herself capable of satire. The ensuing results are quite often disastrous and cause the readers' roflcopter to crash. But, a roflcopter crash would be very frequently preferable to the effects of the unadulterated reading of a genuine badphic: in such situations, the brain bleach must be pulled forth and the unfortunate victim's neurological cells must be scrubbed clean. One by one. In conclusion: trust the phanwankers to do the dirty work. That's their area of expertise.

Phanwankers have a proverbial menagerie of inside jokes (it's bordering the line of a secret language) that can be quite frustrating to those who are cool enough to not know inside Phantom of the Opera jokes. I would gladly list a few notable instances here, but I don't feel like being hunted down and brutally slaughtered by a horde of teenage girls enraged by my revelations about their secret society.

13-year-old smutfic writer: Liek, OMFAG, these stoopid bitchez on this gaytarded LJ totully killed my masterpeece "TwIsTeD DaRk RoSeS oF aNgUiSh AnD lOvE iMmOrTaL tHaT nEvEr DiEs!!! Review plz! Kthnxbai!!1!eleventy!

Reader: ...

Phanwanker: How about Blueflamewolf just wrecked Roule's Ingenious Plane to go with that whaaambulance?

13-year-old smutfic writer: i am making u jellus @ j00!

Phanwanker: Bitch plz.

phanwank by Magdalene S. August 20, 2007