A person who, for all intents and purposes, has never learned a god-damned thing. One who maintains a blissful ignorance of the world that simultaneously inspires amusement, disgust and despair in all who are unlucky enough to encounter him.
Did you see those ass-monkeys on Jaywalking last night? Ha-ha, they're so dumb...I think I'll kill myself.
by Petros March 10, 2004
by pseudoraptor February 19, 2010
"The two people who submitted their versions of the definition before me (mojohojojomo and lee!) are a couple of reeeaaaalll ASS-MONKIES!!!"
by Bobo aka Bart Clocker the Fart Knocker March 24, 2004
by SchwarzerWind September 1, 2003
Someone that is so very obsessed with ass, though this is not where the term's meaning comes from. Rather, it is the behavior of these ass monkeys. They act like douchebags for no reason and are typically extremely unintelligent.
John: "Yo, did you go to Mark's party last night? It was wild!"
Rudiger: "Nah mate, I didn't. Mark's a fucking ass monkey."
Rudiger: "Nah mate, I didn't. Mark's a fucking ass monkey."
by Jay Faraday May 23, 2020
A person (usually a man) who i such an asshole that people leave the room when he enters and announces his presence.
At Jake's wedding, Dan was such an ass monkey that entire sections of the bride's family left the reception early.
by Andrew Rentschler June 9, 2004
n. an individual who, when in an argument, just makes up statistics and quotes from authorities on the subject so they look correct
v. to make up statistics or quotes to appear more correct
v. to make up statistics or quotes to appear more correct
n. Dan is such an ass monkey; there's no way that CNN had an exit poll that said that 87% of Americans want socialism.
v. I totally ass monkeyed through that test. There's no way Mrs. Clark will know that Teddy Roosevelt actually never said anything about anarchy's role in society.
v. I totally ass monkeyed through that test. There's no way Mrs. Clark will know that Teddy Roosevelt actually never said anything about anarchy's role in society.
by Monday's Dusk February 22, 2009