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Monkey Finger

The monkey finger - when you fall asleep with your finger in your girls bum, when you wake up pull out out and bend your finger, the crusty poo will make it look like a monkey finger
by JamThrizzle1 January 18, 2021
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Monkey Finger

When one wipes one's own ass and accidentally pokes finger through the toilet paper. Thus, the finger touches the poop causing a monkey finger.
Dude, I was wiping my ass and it went through the toilet paper. I got poop on my finger. monkey finger!!!
by Mckenneymc January 23, 2013
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monkey finger

That digit which, having been withdrawn from an anus, is now dry and whose owner is inclined to sniff repeatedly and contentedly along the length of it.
"He got monkey finger" - from Come Together by the Beatles.
by raped ape February 6, 2005
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monkey finger

Shoving your finger up somones anus with clothes on to grose them out.
Harley gave me and Jose a monkey finger today on the trampoline, it had me thinking if hes gay or not.
by fatyfatjohn March 2, 2011
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Monkey Finger Pie

When a guy with long monkey fingers creampies a girl and then fingers her after.
David monkey finger pie'd me last night and I came so hard.
by ihavehair100 March 8, 2014
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Purple Monkey Finger

Moonshine from Dargaville. Dargaville where most of New zealands Kumara or sweet potatoes are grown. The locals make the best moonshine out of these purple turd looking things.
Purple Monkey Finger will kick your ass, a lot.
No officer i only had one Purple Monkey Finger, what do you mean i cant drive.
by Day Tripper. November 14, 2010
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Purple Monkey Finger

So apparently the story is, the Kumara that go in to Purple Monkey Finger are grown on land that was the cemetery of the local prison for the criminally insane.

The gardens were looked after by crazy old nuns, all of them were blind except for the mother superior who was mute.

She was mute until one of the prisoners made moonshine out of the Kumara, in her room alone one night, she had a drink, and she started screaming and didn't stop until she died.

They say that even now, if you open a bottle of Purple Monkey Finger alone, in the dark, in a very quiet room, you can hear the old mute nun scream.
Patient: But Doctor, I'm a virgin, how could I be pregnant?
Doctor: I have reason to believe you have recently had some Purple Monkey Finger in you.
Patient: SHITBALLS!
by Sister Catherine November 19, 2010
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