monkey beat 

verb: To severely beat somebody in the same fashion and manner as a monkey or ape i.e. with the sides of the fist and forearms, usually in a downward flailing motion. Usually, but not always, said by someone (typically a male) who has hefty forearms and fists that resemble a monkey.

Also, when the attacker is monkey beating someone he is usually does so with little restraint or care for himself or his victim.

"If you change the channel from the Golden Girls I swear to God I will monkey beat you until you are nothing but a wet stain on this carpet!"

monkey beat by Yeah Prolly February 14, 2012

Monkey Beat 

To team up on a single person with about two others, who most likey curled up on the ground but can be standing, and to slap then over and over. Usually used for everyone's amusement.

Jesse, Curtis and I all monkey beat Anthony

Monkey Beat by Mars November 21, 2004

beat the monkey 

Jacking off; Male masturbation.

I am going to stay home and beat the monkey.

beat the monkey by thisismoi January 13, 2008

beat your monkey 

to mastrabate in a male manner

"go beat your monkey jack" said richie

beat your monkey by meatbeater235 March 6, 2010

beat the monkey to the road 

To "beat the monkey to the road" is to anticipate an issue and take steps to mitigate it before it becomes a problem. Being proactive.

"Let's beat the monkey to the road and pick up the beer when we go for the crabs. We don't want to be stuck sitting in traffic!"

beat the monkey to the road by kastagire July 28, 2021

Beat off Like a Monkey 

To masturbate with one hand while slowly defectating in your other hand. Then when experiencing climax you cum and fling the feces as hard as you can simultaneously.

"Dude whats that stain on the wall?"

"I Beat off Like a Monkey the other day."

"Haha sick!"

Beat off Like a Monkey by sjp092 February 16, 2010

beat by the monkey 

When someone in school gets such a low score on a multiple choice test that a monkey filling in random answers would have beaten them.

Deon: What the..? I got a 12% on my biology midterm!

Poindexter: Weren't there only 4 possible answers for each question? You should have gotten a 25% even if you guessed on every single one!

Deon: How can this be? How can I know LESS than nothing?

Poindexter: Haha, you got beat by the monkey.

beat by the monkey by DeanAmine October 6, 2010