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monkey beat

verb: To severely beat somebody in the same fashion and manner as a monkey or ape i.e. with the sides of the fist and forearms, usually in a downward flailing motion. Usually, but not always, said by someone (typically a male) who has hefty forearms and fists that resemble a monkey.

Also, when the attacker is monkey beating someone he is usually does so with little restraint or care for himself or his victim.
"If you change the channel from the Golden Girls I swear to God I will monkey beat you until you are nothing but a wet stain on this carpet!"
by Yeah Prolly February 14, 2012
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Monkey Beat

To team up on a single person with about two others, who most likey curled up on the ground but can be standing, and to slap then over and over. Usually used for everyone's amusement.
Jesse, Curtis and I all monkey beat Anthony
by Mars November 21, 2004
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beat the monkey

I am going to stay home and beat the monkey.
by thisismoi January 13, 2008
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beat your monkey

"go beat your monkey jack" said richie
by meatbeater235 March 6, 2010
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beat the monkey to the road

To "beat the monkey to the road" is to anticipate an issue and take steps to mitigate it before it becomes a problem. Being proactive.
"Let's beat the monkey to the road and pick up the beer when we go for the crabs. We don't want to be stuck sitting in traffic!"
by kastagire July 28, 2021
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Beat off Like a Monkey

To masturbate with one hand while slowly defectating in your other hand. Then when experiencing climax you cum and fling the feces as hard as you can simultaneously.
"Dude whats that stain on the wall?"

"I Beat off Like a Monkey the other day."

"Haha sick!"
by sjp092 February 16, 2010
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beat by the monkey

When someone in school gets such a low score on a multiple choice test that a monkey filling in random answers would have beaten them.
Deon: What the..? I got a 12% on my biology midterm!

Poindexter: Weren't there only 4 possible answers for each question? You should have gotten a 25% even if you guessed on every single one!

Deon: How can this be? How can I know LESS than nothing?

Poindexter: Haha, you got beat by the monkey.
by DeanAmine October 6, 2010
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